Another year over, a new one just begun...

With the New Year literally days away, now is the time to start thinking of those resolutions we all begin to reflect on at this time of year. Where we usually see a lot of people pledging January to be a time to get fit, lose weight and stop drinking so much, I am going to take a different approach. Instead of making promises to myself about losing a few pounds I have decided 2013 is going to be a year of gaining more….and no, I don’t mean on the scales!

When I started writing this blog just over a year ago, I never imagined I would get such a great response. All the lovely comments, followers, page views and support I have received has made me realise just how important writing is to me. It’s the one thing I am truly passionate about and if I had the opportunity to do it more often, I wouldn’t even hesitate to take it.

I will therefore be focusing more on making my writing dreams come true. I don’t envisage it to be easy, but if the support you have given me continues and I gain more of that over the next 12 months, it will make it so worthwhile. I have many ideas and plans on how to go about it, but I won’t be able to do it without you. That’s why I’m inviting you to join me on my journey and encourage me to fulfil my aspirations, and who knows, this time next year I could have a very exciting story to write about!

Wish me luck…

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

So the official countdown to Christmas has now begun and people everywhere are relishing in the fact that it’s ok to eat chocolate before our cornflakes in the morning! Decorations are going up, streets are being illuminated with colourful lights and even better, the big red Coca-Cola lorry is actually visiting towns around the country this year…can it get any better?

Oh yes it can! This weekend, my friends and I decided to savour the spirit of the festive season and take a trip to London and visit Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. I cannot even begin to tell you just how much fun it was. From the moment we entered, we were greeted with an array of beautifully decorated huts selling a variety of craft items, food and of course, Mulled Wine.

Walking around there was so much to take in. Lots of fairground rides and stalls, live music, and bigger attractions including the Ice Age 4 Rink, Magical Kingdom, Zippos Circus and a Giant Wheel. Although these require tickets on entry, it didn’t stop us enjoying ourselves.

Wondering into the Bavarian Village, we found ourselves amongst a mass of people in a huge German Beer House, enjoying Stein beer, wine and cider in a laid back, social atmosphere. The highlight of the day, without a doubt, went to the live entertainment laid on by my new guilty pleasure, otherwise known as Mikey-Mike. Straight out of Tenerife, this singer had everyone eating out of his hands serenading us with a variety of Soul, Motown and Reggae. His banter along with some cracking song choices made him hit with everyone there. It was only when he had us all dancing to Gangnam Style at 4.45pm on Saturday afternoon that I realised what an absolute legend he is!

There is so much to do there, and if you get a chance to go, take it because it’s worth it and when it’s free entry, you can’t really say no. Suitable for all ages, I can honestly say, it is something everyone will love and will no doubt get you ready for Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Enjoying the festivities

The Proposal

She turned the key into the lock and a slight gust of wind entered as the door opened, blowing a flurry of rose petals towards her. She slowly walked through the hallway following the trail laid out below her into the lounge and through the dining room. She stopped at the French doors and before she had a chance to turn around, everything went dark as her eyes were covered by silk. The delicate fabric against her skin, and his warm body around her, made her stomach flutter. Taking her by the hand, he led her outside.

It was autumn, crisp leaves were falling and the sun was beginning to set through the trees displaying a beautiful red and orange sky. He guided her down the garden and untied her blindfold so she could take it all in. They were standing under a Victorian style arch beautifully weaved with delicate fairy lights and the garden was illuminated with flickering candles. Seeing the shock on her face, he smiled and gently kissed her lips.

“Sophia, I have been in love with you since the day we met. You have shown me what it is like not only to love, but to be loved. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on and without you, my life is nothing. Before we met, everything was black and white, but now it is filled with colour. You are my inspiration; you are my hope, my dreams, the reason I get up in the morning. You are my life.”

Her body began to tremble and her eyes welled up as she watched him get down on one knee. Removing his hand from hers, he took a small box from his pocket and opened it to display a beautiful platinum ring with a square cut diamond sparkling before her eyes. She gasped.

“Sophia. Will you marry me?”

Tears poured from her eyes as she listened to the man she was so in love with asking her to be his wife in such a beautiful and romantic setting. She has thought about this moment for a long time, but never imagined it would be as perfect as this. Throwing her arms around him and holding him close, she screamed in delight as she answered his question.

“YES! Yes, I will marry you”.

They held each other tight for what felt like forever before he took the ring out of the box and placed it onto her finger. They both looked at the diamond sparkling so tenderly before them and as the tears continued, he kissed her again on the lips. It was a moment neither of them would ever forget.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Do not disturb!

More often than not, life has a scary way of creeping up on us and passing by without even realising, and it’s only when we do finally stop to take a breather and appreciate what has been happening, we comprehend how exhausted we feel. I am at this stage now, after spending the last few weeks in Crazy Town, so am finally relishing in some much needed R&R. My candle is well and truly burnt out and I am beyond defeated.

Birthdays, weddings, fancy dress parties and far too much Vodka has taken its toll and with another cold in the space of three weeks, my body is finally telling me to slow down and relax, which is exactly what I have been doing all weekend.

I have spent the last two days in the comfort of my own home, watching re-runs of TV shows I have missed, drinking lots of tea and enjoying my home comforts. I admit, I did venture out yesterday afternoon to my mums house but ended up curled up on her sofa with my sister and aunty watching Strictly and X Factor, enjoying a curry and a much needed catch up. There’s a lot to be said for chilling out with family, it was definitely what I needed and has restored some order back into my life!

Don’t get me wrong, I have loved the mass of socialising I have indulged in, but it has come with its drawbacks including many late nights, a lot of bad eating and drinking and a total neglect for the gym. It’s now time to get back on track before I get hit with the Christmas party season so I have also been spending time refocusing and am ready to wake up tomorrow with a fresh start, a healthy mind and thankfully, without a hangover!

Food for thought

If you have recently embarked on a new healthy lifestyle or are looking for hearty meal ideas, then an online publication created by Northampton based fitness enthusiast, Andrew Haigh may be just what you need. His Real Results Cookbook allows you to choose from a delicious range of breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas without the need to count calories, do any tedious tracking or follow unrealistic fad diets.

A personal trainer for over 3 years, Andrew has worked with a variety of people of all ages, shapes and sizes, and understands the difficulties faced when adopting a new healthy lifestyle. A common trait amongst his clients is their struggle to lose weight, not due to lack of exercise, but more through the food choices they are making.

With this in mind, he has spent time creating a collection of 90 different meal ideas for you to follow either as a fat loss programme, for inspiration to get back on course for better eating, or simply to vary your already healthy lifestyle. Each meal has been designed to be easy to prepare and cook, and most importantly emphasise that good food can be tasty.

With a selection of hot and cold recipes for each meal you’ll be spoilt for choice. So whether you fancy a quick fruit smoothie or pancakes to start your day, a warming soup or tasty stir fry for lunch ending with a delicious curry or even a succulent burger and chips for dinner, this book will have your mouth watering at every page.

You can purchase Andrew’s book through PayPal at a cost of £11.99 by clicking on the link below:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=BRV7RFN5D484Y  

To find out more about Andrew’s personal training, you can find him on both Facebook and Twitter:

http://m.facebook.com/?_rdr#!/haigh1?__user=506312768

and

@AJBlitzBodyBoot

Lost

Here is another attempt at a 99 word flash fiction story. Enjoy!

*******************

Lost

She sat there with black stained tears streaming down her face clutching a crumpled tissue in her hand. Walking up to her I was overcome with sadness as she looked so vulnerable and alone. She saw me but looked away putting her hands into her coat pocket as if warning me off. I stopped, but something inside told me to continue.

In those few seconds of asking if she was ok, she looked up at me and smiled, took her hand out of her pocket and before I had a chance to register, it was over.

She shot herself.

I Love the Cake!

If you have a sweet tooth like me and are a fan of all things cute and yummy, then look no further, because tucked away in a kitchen somewhere in the middle of Northampton is a young lady by the name of Jenny hard at work baking a delicious array of cupcakes that are taking the locals by storm.

Setting up her own business in 2010, Jen’s artistic flair has enabled her to create a selection of cakes tailor made to your requirements. Already a favourite at weddings, birthdays and craft fairs, these delicious cups of heaven are proving to be very popular and you will soon find yourself falling in love with them.

Flavours include Vanilla and Chocolate, Peanut butter and jam or Rocky Road and that’s just to name a few. She is open to all suggestions and is happy to make an order to your preference and they are guaranteed to have your mouth watering and will be a big hit whatever your choice.

Available in boxes of 6 upwards and with prices starting from £1.20 a cake, you will be a fool not try one. So whether you have a special occasion coming up, want to go all out for a One Direction birthday party, or just fancy and naughty treat with your favourite cuppa, then give these cakes a go. You will not be disappointed!

If you would like a quote, or want to find out more, you can contact Jen on Facebook and Twitter:

www.facebook.com/xx.jens.cupcakes.xx

and

@xJensCupcakesx

Thoughts...

Before I started my blog, I used to scribble things down in a note book that my Dad bought for me from a trade show at the NEC Birmingham in 1995 (yes, I am that sad I noted it in the cover!). At the time, I wasn't writing as much as I do now, but whenever I did, I always copied it into this book. Every now and again I like to read it, sometimes I laugh at what I have written and other times I cringe, but after reading some of the words of James McInerney this evening on Facebook (check out his poems, they're amazing), he reminded me of something I wrote during an English Lecture at university and I've decided to share it with you.

I'm not sure where I got the inspiration to write this, especially as I was taking notes on Lord Byron at the time, but somewhere in that lecture on 18th May 2000, my thoughts changed from 18th Century poets to something very different. I hope you like it!

Thoughts

Let me into your world to feel the things you do,
Never sit and wonder how life could have been when it has already happened.
Reflections upon life are all about learning and growing
into a person where we can control what we do.
But even so, when we are at our peak of controllment in life,
mistakes can still be made, fears can still be seen, insecurities are inevitable.

So this world you are in is similar to mine,
Therefore, we must join to become one,
to help each other through life
and to die, to be reborn again, to show others that
the whole of our living process is a learning one.

The Lovers (Flash Fiction Story)

I've recently tried my hand at some flash fiction, writing stories of no more than 99 words. I thought I'd share my first one on here with you all. I hope you like it.

********************

The Lovers

Their eyes met and her heart began to race as she gracefully floated towards him. She couldn’t believe she had found him after all these years of searching, and this time she wasn’t going to let go. Distant music played invisible to their ears; it was just the two of them staring deep into each others soul.

As she stood opposite him he took her trembling hand, gently caressing it. Removing the veil from her face, he smiled and said those two important words he’d been longing to say since the day they met…

“I Do”. 

A Bugs Life

Despite my recent blog post about embracing autumn, I find myself today curled up on my sofa dosed up on paracetamol watching reruns of Friends on Comedy Central, fighting my first (and hopefully last) dreaded cold of the season, hitting home that maybe the change isn’t all it’s cracking up to be! Then again, better to get it now than say in four weeks when I’m going to a wedding, but if I had a choice, I’d rather not be feeling like this at all! High temperature, sweating, shivering…it’s just not a good look for a girl!

I’m trying to fight it though and thought a good workout in the gym yesterday would do the trick but it seems a 5k run followed by 20 minutes of intense kettle bell training has only made things worse. Not only do I look rough, I feel it too and with the added pain of aching limbs, I’m starting to wish I’d just spent the weekend in bed!

 Managing a quick trip to the supermarket to stock up on supplies, I am now sneezing my way through a multipack of Kleenex, dosing up on cold relief tablets and drinking my way through a carton of fresh orange juice and more than likely annoying the hell out of my housemate.

Let’s just hope my unwanted visitor doesn’t decide it likes me a little bit too much because I’m really not in the mood for befriending any bugs right now…so take note any other lingering germs out there, and for your own sake, keep your distance!

Ben (A short story)

Her eyes opened slowly and all she saw was the white of the ceiling. She could hear the beep of the heart monitor that was wired to her and the scurry of people around her. Somebody was saying something but it didn’t make any sense.

“Emma, can you hear me?” said a familiar voice “It’s me, Ben”

Emma tried to move her head but couldn’t. Darkness fell upon her again as she drifted off.

“Why won’t she respond to me? This is the third time now”.

Ben sat back down, taking Emma’s hand in his. His face was angst ridden as he watched his wife, so frail and bruised, fighting for her survival. It had been a beautiful summer’s day and Ben decided he wanted to take her out for lunch. They were driving through familiar country roads, music blaring as they laughed and talked about their plans. Emma burst into song as her favourite Jason Mraz track played which made Ben laugh because she was an awful singer. Not one note in tune, but he didn’t care because he loved that about her. He loved everything about her.

They had only been together six months when Ben proposed. He knew from the day they met he would marry her. He’d never felt like this about anyone before. She was so carefree, laid back and loved him to pieces. His confidence had taken a knock after losing his job just before they met, but when he told her how much he loved to draw pictures, she was soon encouraging him to get back into it and even sell them, and to his surprise, they were doing really well. Two years later he opened his own studio, and began an evening art course for adults and Emma would always come along after work to support him.

“I drew you another picture last night babe: hearts leaping from the moon, just like you described in your dream.”

That was a recurring vision of hers; but she loved the idea of it, mainly because Ben once made up a story about the heart of the moon searching for love and two days later, she dreamt about them leaping with joy from the moon’s centre, heading straight towards her. She knew then they were in love, even though they hadn’t told one another.

“It’s on canvass so we can put it on the wall in the lounge, or maybe above the bed in our room...actually, I think above our bed will be nice: My story, your dream, our love. What do you think?”

For a second he was convinced Emma smiled, but nothing.

“Why did I have to decide to go out?” Ben asked himself angrily. “None of this would have happened if we had just stayed at home”.

The car came out of nowhere and hit them head on throwing them into a double somersault before landing roof down on the ground. Emma was thrown against the passenger window, her body limp and blood everywhere. Ben hit his head on collision but managed to remain conscious. He tried to move but his body was stationary, whether from shock or damage, he didn’t know but all he wanted was for them both to be out of the car and quickly. He screamed at Emma to wake up but she didn’t respond. Another car was driving a little further behind them and saw it all. They called an ambulance and helped get Ben out of the car. Emma wasn’t moving though and they had to wait for the paramedics to arrive before they could do anything. That was eight days ago. The driver of the car that hit them was three times over the limit and died hours after arriving at hospital.

Ben startled upright from his chair. He was unsure how long he had been sleeping for but assumed it must have been a while because a blanket had been put over him. He looked at his watch and saw it was 3.08am and he suddenly felt thirsty. Looking around for a nurse, he got up from his chair and walked over to the table at the end of the bed and poured himself a glass of water but his body suddenly went cold when he realised Emma was no longer wired up to the machine; instead her face was grey and her lips blue and dry. An evil shiver fell down his spine as he stood there motionless.

“Emma!” he screamed, shaking her. “Wake up!”

Confusion fell over him as tears streamed from his eyes. What had happened in the short time he had been asleep and why had he not woken up before now? It didn’t make any sense. Commotion appeared from a nearby room close by to Emma’s. Ben looked over but couldn’t take in what was happening. The room started to spin and he could feel himself getting cold. The noise outside was getting louder, piercing through his body like nails scraping along a blackboard.

Storming out with raged anger, Ben approached the room but stopped short when he saw doctors surrounding a bed, checking the heart rate of a patient and wiring up a defibrillator. He walked over to the bed but froze in horror as he saw a familiar figure lying there underneath bruises and swelling. His black eyes widened and his body began to convulse as the realisation of what was happening dawned on him. Sweat poured from his head and his hands began to shake when he saw the person he was looking at was in fact, himself.

Ben stood in a trance as he watched doctors and nurses trying desperately to save his life.

“NO!” he screamed.

Nobody responded. Ben ran back into his wife’s room and he suddenly remembered everything. He was the one in the coma, not Emma. She died on impact. Everything he was feeling, thinking and hoping was all in his mind. He had been replaying his life over the last 8 days only today, after doctors began to see some improvement in him, Ben was beginning to piece things together, only for his body to go into shock after realising she was dead, causing his own heart to stop.

Tears poured from his eyes as he fell onto Emma’s cold body. He held her tight but felt the resuscitation shocks going through him pushing him back to the ground. He staggered up from the floor making his way back to the bed, screaming again to stop but nobody listened.

Ben looked around and saw the scene in slow motion. He could no longer hear their voices, and could feel something pulling him away. Doctors worked in vain for what felt like a lifetime to save him, each shock jolting his body off of the bed, but without any response.

Realising there was nothing more they could do, they had to stop. Two lives had been taken and for a week, doctors fought to save the third, but they couldn’t. Ben had given up. The thought of life without Emma was too much for him to contend with. He wasn’t strong enough without her. He felt responsible for her death and would never have forgiven himself had he survived. The only thing he could do was let go because at least this way he hoped he would reunite with her again.

A hand reached over and switched off his life machine ending the noise, and finalisng the end of his life. Softly stroking his face, a tear fell onto his cheek as a gentle voice whispered into his ears for the last time:

“Goodnight Ben."

Autumn days

Summer may be coming to an end as we begin the relegation of barbeques and sun loungers back into the garage for another year, but that’s not to say we still can’t enjoy the outdoors. In fact with autumn just around the corner it won’t be long before we’re back outside, this time wrapped up in scarves and gloves, filling bin bags with leaves and enjoying the site and smell of lingering bonfires.

I’m sure many of you would much rather be lying on a beach drinking cocktails and catching some rays, but now is a great time to embrace the change, after all it does come with some perks: a new wardrobe, Halloween and bonfire parties, conker fights, and dare I say it…..Christmas!

Ok I admit it, I’m not one for battling against gale force winds and rain, but there’s something to be said for coming in from the cold, putting on your fluffy slippers and comfy slob out clothes, heating on and chilling in front of the TV with a large Baileys on ice!  So don’t let the dark nights and fading tan lure you in a state of misery, instead embrace what is now on offer. Dig out the wellies, wrap up warm and let’s have some fun!

Lost (A Short Story)

He had been trapped underground for weeks. Everyone assumed the blast had killed him so a ceremony took place in his honour. Little did they know he was using every last drop of energy he had left to escape. Rats and bugs covered him like a rotting corpse, but he refused to give up because he needed, and wanted, to see his wife and children again. They were keeping him going.

As he scurried through rubble and battled falling debris, faith restored him. Light shone through in the distance and he felt an incredible rush of relief. He was saved. Tears stung his dirt filled eyes as he hurried towards his survival despite the bright blue sky almost blinding him.

Moments earlier, whilst he was reaching his freedom, a power cable sparked and detached overhead causing the pylon to fall to the floor like timber igniting flames and smoke that filled the light he was making his way towards.

His scream echoed around as the man so close to regaining his life saw the flames heading towards him. There was nothing he could do now.

It was over.

If the dress fits....

When it comes to fashion, I’m not really up there as a catwalk fanatic. I always try and make an effort though and look smart for work and when I am out, but I don’t get over excited about shopping for clothes and shoes like most girls do.

So, imagine my shock, when last weekend I went out with my housemate who was in search of a dress to wear for her birthday, and I came back with one to wear also and another to wear to her mum’s wedding in October.

The first shop we went into was Matalan and hanging up next to the fitting rooms (how apt) was this dress:

I fell in love with it straight away so tried it on and couldn’t believe it when it actually looked nice on me and for a bargain of £18 I didn’t even hesitate to buy it. Needless to say, I walked out feeling rather smug!

We then made our way to Wallis, where my housemate had told me about a dress she had seen which she thought would look lovely on me. I remember her describing it to me and at the time, it sounded lovely, but if I’m honest, I forgot all about it (sorry Chelsey!) but when we got there, hanging up at the front of the shop was the dress:

I knew straight away I wanted it so grabbed it off the hanger and tried it on. I loved it but stupidly decided against buying it, thinking I still have a couple of months until the wedding. As soon as I got home, I realised I made a mistake not buying it so found their website and not only did I find the dress, but it was also part of an online offer and was £4 cheaper than buying it in the shop at a cost of £36!

I seriously couldn’t believe my luck. Prior to this, I had spent weeks searching in vain for a dress to wear to my nephew’s naming ceremony, including trying out a personal shopper experience, only to decide on one I already had in my cupboard, but here I was, on a Saturday afternoon, finding two dresses I loved and on impulse, buying them both. I can’t wait to wear them now, starting tonight, with the Matalan dress!

The Old Lady (A Short Story)

We are often confused by the behaviour of people, but sometimes the way we behave can ultimately save a person. I found this out recently and I feel today is a good day to share it with you.

I grew up in a small village where everyone knew each other’s business, often before you knew your own. I enjoyed my childhood, but there were times I found it suffocating. So many busy bodies in a remote area never really giving you the chance to breath, and it came to no surprise when an old lady moved into the vacant cottage opposite my house that everyone wanted to know about her.

There was only one problem though, she didn’t want to talk to anyone, and it really rubbed the locals up the wrong way. People often wondered about the old lady in the house. They would see her most days pottering about, watering her flowers, getting her shopping, and sitting in her rocking chair in the lounge doing her knitting. She never seemed lonely, but was always alone. Neighbours tried to embrace her but she would just smile and decline any form of contact. Of course, there was that rumour about her being a witch and putting spells on people, but I never believed them.

I remember walking home from college one afternoon and she was hovering outside her front door. Despite my parents telling me to stay away from her because she was “a bit odd”, she looked like she needed help. As it turned out, she had dropped her key on the floor and was in too much pain with her back to bend down and pick it up. She told me I was the first person of many during that hour and a half of her trying that actually stopped to help. I wanted to get her into her house, purely for curiosity than anything else, but she couldn’t have closed the door quickly enough. Resigned to the fact she just wanted to be alone, I turned around and went home. All the kids in the village thought I caught some kind of disease from her because by coincidence, I fell ill days afterwards. Turned out it was just a sickness bug, but that didn’t stop the small minds from thinking it was more.

Every time I saw her after that I always waved, but she just smiled and turned away. At weekends when I baked cupcakes I would box some up for her with a note and leave it on her doorstep. I never bothered to wait for her to answer the door because she always ignored anyone that arrived, but she always accepted them because I used to watch, sometimes for hours, to see she got them. Then every Christmas I sent her a card, and even after I moved house I still continued with the cakes and greetings. People thought I was stupid for it because she never said thank you, but that wasn’t why I did it.

Three weeks ago I got a telephone call from my mum to tell me the old lady had passed away. She realised something was wrong when my parcel of cupcakes were still sitting outside the front door two days after they were delivered. She called the police who found her lying in bed, clutching a photograph, of what I now know was the man she loved. I still get shivers whenever I recall that conversation, but then yesterday morning I received a letter in the post which must have been found by those tidying her house. The letter read:

My Dearest Annabelle

If you are reading this then it means the inevitable has happened. You may wonder why I have chosen now for you to understand this, but I want to share it with you because I feel I owe it to you. I have watched you with much happiness over the last 10 years grow into a beautiful young lady, so caring, so kind, so thoughtful. A year before I moved to Cloverlane cottage, my husband, Walter, lost his battle with cancer. He was the love of my life, always made me smile, always cared for me, always looked after me…and always loved when I baked for him. Before he passed he made me one promise – that wherever I go, he will always be there looking after me.

I chose Cloverlane because it was a quiet area - I never thought for one moment I would create such a stir. It seems that despite the quaint village setting, it was full of some sinister and rather vicious people who refused to believe that behind the person, was an old woman; longing for the man she had lost. That was until you came along. You never judged me, never forced me to talk, but you were always there, sending me notes and leaving me gifts. I cried for hours the day I found your cupcakes on my front porch. I couldn’t believe it because you made them just the way I used to make them for Walter: vanilla sponge with white icing. I realised then he was right – he was there for me, only his spirit chose you.

You brought so much happiness back into my life, and I am so grateful. You helped me to see that despite my loss and sadness, love still surrounded me. I enjoyed so much receiving the photos of your wedding, and cried once more when you told me you are expecting your first child. Knowing you have that makes me so happy, because you deserve it. Don’t ever lose the person you are because you are beautiful and so special.

Take care my darling, and I will continue now what my Walter told me. Wherever you go, I will always be there looking after you.

All my love

Ethel

That was the first time I found out the old lady’s name. I never realised I had such an impact on her life but knowing I did has made me so happy. I attended her funeral at St Mark’s Church back in the village, along with my parents. It seemed, despite their initial attitude, seeing what I did for her made them proud of me. There weren’t many people there that day but she wouldn’t have expected there to be because despite my caring for her, she still never let anyone else in. Although I never got the chance to really get to know Ethel, since her death, I feel like I know more about her now than I did before.

Perception is a powerful thing. You never really know a person unless they let you in. I don’t know why I continued to stay in touch with Ethel, or even why I started. Perhaps on some deeper scale I was fed up with the perception that my friends and family had of her, and the thought of turning out like that scared me.

I guess what I’m trying to say to you all is don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t be that sheep and follow the crowd, be your own person. Your future is in your hands now so don’t let it pass you by. Grab it with both hands and enjoy it. Be the strong individuals you have become, don’t succumb to gossip and rumour, and don’t be that person creating the gossip and those rumours. Love the people close to you, share the moments because there will be some incredible ones to remember, but most of all, keep a look out for that person who needs you, because somewhere along your path they will be there, and that will be your chance to really shine. I have faith in you class of 2012.

Be strong, be wise but most of all, be happy.

********************************

Putting the piece of paper down and taking in a deep breath, I looked at my husband and could see his tears.

“What do you think?”

Standing up from his chair, he took me in his arms and kissed me.

“I love you” he said “and so will those kids when they hear that story. You are an inspiration, Mrs Andrews.”

Not so (Cross) Fit

It will come to no surprise by now that exercise and I are not the most compatible of couples, however after agonising about whether to rejoin the gym recently, I was invited to a free circuit training session this evening so I jumped on board and thought why the hell not! Of course, how I interpreted it, and what actually happened are two very different stories.

Picture the scene: a friend contacts me on Facebook after my random status update about rejoining the gym and mentions one I didn’t know existed in Northampton called Crossfit. When I spoke to her about it, I managed to interpret it as a chance to catch up with someone I haven’t seen for months and have a good old natter in between circuit exercises. Now, when I think of this, I think 10 sets of press ups, 10 sets of star jumps, maybe a few weight sets and running from one side of the room to the other. Not so shabby really! Of course, somewhere in my blonde infested brain, what I was told and what I actually experienced was a whole other ball game.

After agreeing to pick me up, we drove round to said Gym, not far from my house, which seemed to appear out of nowhere. I wasn’t too fazed to begin with but it did cross my mind where the big building was and why we were driving into the smallest car park a gym has ever seen. Still, I didn’t really question it. On approach I saw we were walking towards what I can only describe as a huge converted garage and I soon found myself distracted by Mr Fittie and his sexy legs and was too busy checking him out to notice what was happening around me. Why oh why did I choose to wear the most horrific pair of cropped leggings and old t-shirt today? I really need to take note when going to the gym – men will always be there!

It took me a few minutes to register where I was, but once I managed to compose myself I looked around the room and I thought I had entered some sick and twisted red room of pain, and I was convinced Mr Grey was going to appear in his joggers and riding crop in hand and beat the crap out of me. Unfortunately he never showed, however the latter was still true, just not in the masochistic way I had first thought!

Grey thoughts aside, we began our training starting with a warm up which included a gentle run around block – yes outside and in the rain – something I was not prepared for. We then made our way back and started on 5 sets of 10 kettle bell swings, box squats, bunny hops, ring pull ups and more squats with weight bars on our back which we alternated for about 15-20 minutes. By now I was looking more like a heart attack victim than an Olympic champion! From there, we then went onto our 5 set circuits (and finally a chance to stop and breath I hoped) but no, we were pushed to our limits once more. Wall and floor climbs, kettle bell lunges, swings and to top it off a 50m sprint outside, still in the rain. Thankfully I wasn’t the only newbie there so we were given a little more grace and were told to do only 3 sets which to be honest, I’m not sure how I even managed that but I did, and I have to admit it felt good.

Had it been described to me like this before hand, it is without a doubt I would have said no, but in hindsight, I’m really glad I didn’t know what was coming because despite the pain, the body shakes, the red face, and the ridiculous amount of sweat seeping from my pores, I have to admit, I loved every minute of it. The people in the class were pleasant and so friendly, the trainer was really motivating and supportive, and despite being the slowest and probably most unfit there, I didn’t for one minute feel intimidated or stupid. Everyone was so focused on their own workout and that helped me to keep my focus too.

I’m really glad I had the opportunity to go and although I was aching before we even finished, and knowing full well I will be in agony tomorrow, part of me feels really smug but also quite proud of myself. Although the ultimate goal is to get fit, it definitely is the kind of workout that involves a lot of mental strength, but it seems to have triggered something inside of me because I'm feeling really good now, almost buzzing, and for that reason I don't think Crossfit has seen the last of me!

What a bummer!

Whoever said being a girl was easy probably wasn’t female, in fact in an image obsessed world, it’s a bloody nightmare! Choosing the right hairstyle, getting the best makeup, ensuring your grooming is up-to-date and wearing the right clothes actually sounds like fun when you’re trawling through magazines and looking in shops, but sometimes for me, it’s a disaster.

I don’t dislike being a girl; on the contrary I actually love it. The flirting you can do when your out to get a drink off the fit guy you’ve been eyeing up or buying accessories, shoes, bags…the list is endless, but what about those off days? You know the ones I mean, the days when you go into every shop possible and nothing looks right. That dress you love so much in the window looks more like a tent when you try it on, or after four weeks of eating only chicken and drinking green tea, you still can’t quite do up the zip on those skinny jeans. This has happened to me on so many occassions and the complex I already have about myself seems to be going from bad to worse!

I do tend to get the odd compliment here or there, usually about the size of my cleavage, which lets face it if you know me doesn’t go unnoticed, but from out of nowhere I seem to have developed this ridiculous obsession about the size of my arse! Now I know Sir Mix-a-Lot likes a “juicy double” and to be fair, I have been known to shake my “healthy butt” on a night out, but for some reason unbeknown to me, I have found myself wishing my callipygian curves, were….not so in your face. It’s enough with the cleavage; I don’t need the derriere as well!

I know I should embrace my curves and be that all powerful female unfazed by what others think of me, but in reality, their opinions really do matter and with a backside the size of black beauty, I’m starting to think I need to get help before I get mistaken for a bike rack!

Time to get onto the squats I think.

Published article: Whiteroom

I am very happy to share with you another article of mine which has been published with Glow Magazine. I decided to put my writing skills to the test and have written a review on a local Northampton Band called Whiteroom. Please take some time to read it and check them out. You won't be disappointed!

http://www.glowmagazine.me/whiteroom-covers-northhampton/

Tanya :-)

Chocolate

This is a silly poem I made up today in honour of my housemate, Miss Chelsey Howe who is the world's biggest chocoholic, and for myself, who is dreaming of the day when real chocolate won't make you fat, no matter how much you eat!

Chocolate by Tanya Shirley

Chocolate is just lovely
I eat it everyday.
I really wish i didn't, but
the cravings always stay.

Chocolate on my cereal
Chocolate for my lunch.
And when it's time for dinner, I

think you have a hunch!

I cannot stop, I always think
Of chocolate all the time.
I wish I didn't do this, but
oh look, a yummy Daim!

I often wish I didn't eat
chocolate everyday,
'cause maybe then, the pounds I've gained
Will simply fade away!

Get over it, Tanya!

Multi tasking seems to be something I’m good at. I can easily juggle five different tasks at work with confidence despite by head feeling muddled, I can handle tidying the house whilst keeping up to date with what’s going on in Eastenders and I can even dry my hair and do my makeup at the same time (true fact even if I do look like a clown afterwards!)  However, I have noticed lately that when my life gets taken over by one thing, I somehow manage to lose focus on everything else, and by that I mean my diet.

With a recent promotion giving me a step up the career ladder, I have been thrown into a brand new role, which after spending nearly seven years in my previous job, has been a bit of a shock to my system but I have been putting all my energy into learning and getting settled and neglecting the focus I had with my diet and realise now I need to do something about that now before I undo all my hard work. Whilst talking to my sister about it last night she said ‘only you can do something about it’ and she’s so right. It was a matter of fact comment which has stuck on my head ever since. It’s easy to lose track and spiral into a whirlwind of self pity when you’re having a bad day, but I should be looking at the bigger picture. I’ve been promoted so why am I feeling so sorry for myself? I realise there is always going to be learning curves in a new job but I seriously need to stop putting myself under so much pressure and just go with it instead of using it as an excuse to comfort eat and step off the diet wagon. I know it’s easier said than done, especially if you’re like me and turn to food with any emotion you go through, but at least I have acknowledged what I am doing and that’s got to be a good start, don’t you think?

With that in mind, I woke up this morning and did an intensive 30 minute session on the cross trainer, watched The Biggest Loser and Fat Families on TV and I suddenly feel like I’m back in the game and it feels good. I've got a lot going for me at the moment so as of now I’m giving myself a well deserved talking to and pulling myself together. I’m back people so let’s get this party started!

An appeal....

Sometimes being single can be tiring. Going to bed alone, waking up with nobody to kiss you good morning, drifting through your day worrying about things and not having someone at the end of the phone to tell you to stop over reacting and to calm down. It’s tough being on your own. People always seem to ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend. I wish I knew the answer because then maybe I can shine some light on why I am still single. I don’t think I’m all bad. I know I can be a bit down on myself at times, but everyone goes through phases like that. I’m not a bad person; I’m caring, sensitive, look out for my friends and family. I can cook. Surely I have potential? So why can’t I seem to find myself a nice man?

I have perhaps been over analysing this weekend and am probably starting to sound sad and desperate, but what’s wrong with wanting to curl up to someone at the end of the day sharing a bottle of wine and watching crappy TV? Nothing! The big question is, where do I find said man? All of my friends seem to have managed it, so why can’t I? I’m not that bad am I? Maybe I need to enlist the help of my friends and get them to do the dirty work for me. Maybe I need to step away from the situation and let someone else take control and see what happens. Now there’s an idea!

So this is me putting myself out there asking for some help! Friends, if you are reading this, do me favour because being single sucks!

Much Love! xx

God Save The Queen

This weekend has seen a significant event in British history, marking the Diamond Jubilee of our Queen’s 60 year reign as Monarch and the people of Great Britain are rejoicing after being given an extra day’s holiday to celebrate!

As a country, we perhaps don’t have the best reputation when it comes to underage drinking, corrupted media and even the weather, but what we do have is a great understanding of comedy, a love of music and sport, and if there is one thing we Brits know what to do best, its party!

More than 1.2 million spectators gathered in London yesterday to watch the flotilla where the Queen made her way down the River Thames on a Royal barge along with 1000 other boats to commemorate her time on the throne. For those who couldn’t make it to the Capital, took to the streets to hold their own parties, indulging in pimms and lemonade, enjoying picnics and even listening to live music in local pubs. With towns and cities laden with Union Jack bunting there has been an exciting atmosphere surrounding us and despite the disappointing pour down of rain, it hasn’t stopped anyone having a good time. The country is covered with flags, novelty memorabilia, fancy dress and a lot of people wearing red, white and blue!

People have sung, danced and toasted the Queen and once again, we have enjoyed every minute of it. There has been an atmosphere so inviting and electric, we have proven to the world that Britain is a good country and so are the people who live here. We have united today and I am proud to be British, and that my friends, is why we are so great!

Keep on moving!

Stepping back onto the scales this week didn’t exactly put a smile on my face when I saw the pounds were creeping back on and I’ve been feeling disappointed with myself ever since. However, after mulling over why this has happened, I realise I have been indulging perhaps a little more than usual. Infact, I have been quite the social butterfly of late, fluttering my way through party central catching up with friends, enjoying wedding and birthday celebrations, gigs, dining out and a lot of vodka! I don’t regret any of it though but now the madness has calmed down, I am relishing in some much needed r and r and am starting to refocus to get back on track.

I have rejuvenated my fitness routine and have started walking again. Now the weather has improved, getting outside after work has been, quite literally, a breath of fresh air! I’ve even found a beautiful scenic route close to home which I have decided to use on a regular basis. With my gym membership on hold, it is important I find an alternative to the treadmill and cross trainer before I turn into a couch potato and at the moment, walking is what I am enjoying. My passion for exercise never lasts for long though and I am already looking at other options to keep me focused. Burlesque classes are still on the list, but I have to wait another month for the next session to begin. Then there is boot camp which a friend of mine runs, but the idea of that scares me! I did see a guy skipping outside his house a few weeks ago which prompted me to consider buying one of my own, or going one step further and setting up an obstacle course in my street, but I’m concerned the neighbours might think I’m a little crazy?

As my mind ponders over my options, I am looking forward to the weird and wonderful ideas that may pop into my head over the next few months. Exercise isn’t my idea of heaven, but I have no choice because I need to do it to help shift the weight but also to keep fit so I might as well find something I enjoy, and at this rate, anything is possible!

I've been published!

It has always been my dream to be a published writer and one day I hope to write a collection of books for the world to enjoy and today marks a significant step in that direction. I am pleased to announce and share with you my first ever published short story thanks to Melanie Gow at Glow Magazine. Seeing potential in me has given me a big confidence boost and I am so grateful to have been given this opportunity to share my writing.

Please take a look and enjoy!

Tanya

http://www.glowmagazine.me/the-escape-a-short-story/

Save the last dance for me....

There’s no denying it, I love dancing. Pop, salsa, tap, street, ballroom…you name it, I love it. The only problem is I’m much better at watching these performances than actually taking part. However, after deciding to put my gym membership on hold for the foreseeable future after losing all enthusiasm for it, I have decided I need to look at different ways of exercising by doing something I enjoy.

I admit it, I’m no Britney Spears and I would probably be a challenge for Ashley Banjo on his secret dance crew, but I do have some rhythm and a bit of hip shaking every now and then always gets my adrenalin pumping, and more importantly, makes me smile and feel good. I have therefore decided to enrol in a course of burlesque dance classes, hopefully with a couple of friends who have also said they’re interested. I have never done it before so I don’t know what to expect, but there’s something about the way you move, the costumes, the music and the ability to flirt at the same time that appeals to me, and that’s got to be a lot more fun than pounding a treadmill for 30 minutes in a gym full of lycra clad fitness freaks. Give me a chair, a shimmy or two and a sultry stare and I’m all yours!

I am really looking forward to starting my new exercise regime and you never know, I may just end up on the next Christina Aguilera or Pussycat Dolls music video!

Watch this space….

The girl on the hill

The spot at the top of the hill was her favourite. She loved to sit there on the pink blanket her mother knitted for her, over looking the landscape and taking in the beauty that was bestowed on her. The crisp blue sky looked so welcoming beaming down amongst the warmth of the mid day sun. Children swam and jumped off the rope attached to a tree over the lake, screaming in delight as they fell into the cold water with a big splash. Couples sat close together eating from picnic baskets; mothers fed their babies and dogs ran after sticks that were being thrown to them. The smell of food being cooked on a barbeque lingered and the distant sound of an ice cream van was gradually getting louder. Walkers passed by hand in hand smiling at the excitable children enjoying themselves, while others sat alone on benches or lying on the grass, reading books and listening to music.  

The sound of a train whistling nearby could soon be heard and all the children hurried together, running towards the tracks so they could stop and wave at the driver and passengers shouting “hello” as it passed by, occasionally getting waves back from those sitting in the carriages. She smiled as she remembers watching other children doing that when she was their age.

At the top of the hill stood a beautiful oak tree with a rustic old bench tucked away underneath it and she would always sit there to do her drawings. Nobody really sat there because they were always by the river playing with other children. She never joined in though, instead she took shelter under the tree and drew the pictures she secretly wished she was a part of.

Sitting back there now, at that very spot, all the memories she had came flooding back. She put her arm around him tightly and with a warm heart said “This is where we kissed for the first time”.  She could feel every muscle in her body relax as she reminded him of that day.  Of course, he remembered it as much as she did, but listened as the story was retold.  

“You asked me why I was sitting on my own under a tree and not playing with you all. The truth is, I was too shy. Everyday I would sit here and watch as you all played in the river. All that laughter echoing below me. I wanted to be a part of it so much, but I was too scared to join in. I was even a little bit jealous. I didn’t know what to say to you when you appeared, and to be honest, you scared me because I didn’t even realise you were walking towards me. I just stared at you in shock! You sat down next to me though and looked at what I was drawing. My heart was beating so fast I was convinced you could hear it. I couldn’t believe you were next to me because I had seen you so many times. So popular with everyone, but now you were here taking an interest on me, staring deep into my eyes. I could feel my cheeks burning as I saw you looking at me and I remember trying to say something, but before I had the chance, your lips were touching mine. I have to admit, I was a bit shocked at first, but I didn’t have a chance to fight it because it felt so good. Your soft lips on mine and you hand touching my cheek. I could feel the blood rushing though my body, my heat beating so fast. It was incredible and I didn’t want it to end. That kiss changed my life.”

He understood everything she say saying because he remembered that moment so vividly too. He often noticed the girl sitting under that tree, wondering why she was alone. Her long beautiful blonde hair tousled down over her shoulders captivated her beauty. She intrigued him, but all the other children would mock him for staring at her, and tease her, saying she was strange sitting alone all day long. It didn’t stop him wanting to know the girl at the top of the hill though. One day out of nowhere, he found the courage to find out more about her and began walking up to her. He had no idea what he was going to do or say to her when he got there, but he knew he had to meet her and find out who she was. He didn’t eve remember what he said when he reached her, but he did remember her beauty. In fact, she was even more beautiful up close than she was in the distance. Every hair on his body stood up as he saw how amazing this girl was. That day changed his life too, because when he kissed her, he knew they would be together forever. He fell in love that day.

“You changed everything for me. Up until that moment I felt lost and alone. I had nobody to talk to. Everyone thought I was odd. Even my own parents were concerned that I didn’t seem to have any friends. You saw past that though. My silly insecurities, my lack of confidence….it wasn’t an issue for you. For the first time in my life, there was someone wanting to get to know me for me and I wasn’t afraid to show you who I was. You brought me to life.”

Their love blossomed over the years and the passion and love they had for one another got stronger every day. Every morning when she woke up in his arms, or when ever she heard his voice, her body would tingle and her stomach tightened into a big knot of excitable nerves that would make her want to scream with happiness because she was so lucky to have him in her life.

Their wedding day was beautiful. Only a small gathering of friends around them to celebrate, but that’s all they wanted. That, and photo’s of them both underneath the oak tree on top of the hill. Their two children grew into beautiful and intelligent young adults and found their own loves, got married and had children. Life wasn’t always easy and they had their share of problems, but their love never faded and they stuck by one another through the good and bad.

As she continued with the story one more time at the top of the hill, new lives were unfolding below them. The river was still safe enough for children to play in, although parents seemed a little more anxious about them doing so. The bench under the tree was now full of graffiti and this once quiet haven known to only a handful of children had now been discovered by many and was being enjoyed as a popular spot to visit during the summer. Their lives had reached full circle, meeting here at the tender age of 15 and now back to where it all began at the ripe old age of 85. She knew it had to be here though. No other place on earth carried such significance to them both. It was their place. She stood up from the bench and watched the scene one more time. Slowly unscrewing the urn, she poured out his ashes, and a gentle breeze crept up, taking him back down the hill towards the river. She watched as he was scattered over the grass to the point where he stood on that brave day watching her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the man she loved so dearly disappeared from her view. He was gone now, but she could never forget him. He completed her, made her into the strong, incredible and caring mother, wife and person she is today. He risked his own fears by approaching her that day and it paid off, and for that, she was always grateful.

“Thank you for loving me and making all of my dreams come true. I love you”.

Lost

Another possible extract from another possible book…

She was home, and for the first time in a long time she felt safe. Putting her key in the front door, the lock turned but it wouldn’t open. She laughed because she could never get the hang of that door because her Dad refused to pay to get a locksmith to fix it. In fact he refused to pay out for anything if he thought he could do it himself. She forced the key back out, picked up her bag and walked around the back of the house calling out to her family, but there was no reply. She opened the gate and saw the sun lounger in the garden with a magazine and iPod underneath it and a can of lager and glass of coke on the patio table. She smiled because she knew there would be Vodka hidden in that coke!

The back door was open so she walked in calling out again, but still no reply. She thought it was a bit odd that nobody was around, but that quickly passed when she saw her sister, Emma, sitting in the lounge staring blankly at the television.

 “Bloody hell, inside watching TV while the sun’s out? What’s wrong with you?” But Emma didn’t even flinch. “For God’s Sake sis, are you still pissed off with me?” Again, no reply. “Look, I’m sorry alright?”

Nothing.

She walked out of the lounge, her heart breaking a little. She obviously hurt her more than she realised. Her mind was already planning things to do to show her how sorry she was. It was only a stupid row over some hair straighteners…

“DAD!” she shouted, walking upstairs. “Where are you?”

She called back to her sister to ask where he was, but was ignored again. “I can’t bloody do anything, can I?” she mumbled.

Once in her bedroom she flung her bag onto the floor before collapsing on her bed. She reached over to put the TV on but something made her stop. She could hear a faint noise, like the sound of someone crying coming from her parent’s room. She crept in, and sitting on the floor with his back against the bed was her dad.

“There you are!” she said with relief in her voice. “I called you but you didn’t reply. I thought you were….” She stopped in her tracks as she walked over to see her Dad with photos sprawled out in front of him, clutching one in his hand.

“I miss you so much” he said.

“Ah Dad, I’m home now, it’s ok” putting her arm around him. “I know it’s been rough lately, but it will get better, I promise”.

“It’s all my fault.”

“No it’s not dad, stop saying that. Life can deal you a bad hand at times, but it’s how you cope with it that makes you. Come on, you told me that!”

“Dad” said a concerned voice from behind them. They both turned around and saw Emma standing there. “You have to stop this. It isn’t your fault”.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell him but he’s not listening to me”.

“Dad, it was an accident…..”

Sophie looked at her Dad and then again at her sister. She was confused. “What do you mean it was an accident?”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. “Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?”

Emma walked over to them and carefully placed the photos back in their box. “They’ve gone Dad. Nothing we can do will bring them back”.

“Ok, you two are freaking me out now. Who’s gone? Who’s not coming ba…?”At that moment, the realisation of what was happening sunk in.

*****

Sophie woke up late forgetting it was Emma’s turn to have the car. They argued over it because she could still make it on time if she had the motor, but her sister refused, throwing a tantrum in for good measure. It spiralled into another boisterous shouting match which resulted in her throwing Emma’s hair straighteners at her, missing her face by a fraction. That was enough for their mum. She walked upstairs screaming at them to stop fighting. She couldn’t take another argument and after a lot of back biting, she eventually agreed to take Sophie to work in the car their Dad had been fixing.

She sat in silence on that journey as her mum moaned, telling her to grow up and start taking responsibility for herself instead of staying out late every night drinking with her mates. She tried to argue back but she could see how upset her mum was.

Looking at her daughter, she sighed, “All I ask is for you to show a little bit more consideration towards us, Sophie…”

 “MUM, WATCH OUT!”

In the second it took for her mums eyes to appear back on the road, there were children screaming as their parents pulled them back onto the kerb from the crossing. The black car that came hurtling towards them spun, screeching ferociously as it tried to swerve out of the way, causing them to jolt off the road spinning 360 degrees mid air. The doors flung open on impact before crashing back down on the pavement landing upside down. The window screen shattered displaying tiny speckles of glass everywhere. Steam was escaping out of the crushed bonnet and the smell of burnt rubber embedded into the road and invading the throats of everyone around them. Their bodies lay motionless as people watched in horror. Blood everywhere. Sophie tried to say something but no words came out. She could hear sirens in the distance getting louder and louder. She attempted to move her head but there was too much pain so she glanced over to her mother who was still strapped in by her seat belt, slumped helplessly like a puppet waiting to come to life. She was covered in blood. People fussed around them both. “Can you hear me?” “What’s your name?” “Don’t worry; the ambulance is on its way”. Sophie froze in fear. Her mother was dead. She screamed, and tears rolled down her cheeks. “It’s ok; you’re going to be ok”.

Those were the last words she remembered. When she woke up, she couldn’t recall what happened. She felt scared and alone and all she wanted was to be at home, and it was a big relief when she walked inside that back door because nothing was making sense, but it didn’t matter because she was home and she would be ok.

***

She looked again at her sister and then at her Dad, panic spreading like a rash all over her face. She picked up the photo her Dad had been clutching onto. It was of Sophie and her mum cuddling each other. So happy, so beautiful.

“No……No” She said, her voice trembling. “Dad? Em? Talk to me. Please?” She was crying hysterically, shaking her Dad, begging him to look at her, but it was as though she wasn’t even there. “NO!” she screamed again. Tears were streaming down her face. “Please, NO! Daddy, Em. It’s me, Sophie. I’m right here. I’m right in front of you!”

But they just sat next to each other huddled together, crying. Holding onto each other so tightly, never wanting to let go.

Sophie backed away, looking at her Father and sister in disbelief. She looked around for her mother, but she couldn’t see her. Where was she? Why wasn’t she there too? A cold chill ran through her body because she realised what had happened. Her mother had died and was taken, but she was left. All the arguments she had with her family. All the partying, the drugs, quitting school. Even wishing she was dead when things weren’t going her way had all come back in a cruel twist of fate. Only this time, there was nobody around to help and make her see just how good her life really was. If only she realised when she was alive, maybe she wouldn’t be stuck in this parallel universe now.

She looked back down at them once more and couldn’t move. She really was alone now.

“Help me” she whispered.