Feeling festive

I have an unwritten rule in my life that I don't like to talk about Christmas out loud with people until the 6th November. The reason I do this is because I'm that girl who gets so unbelievably excited in the run up to 25th December that if I started any earlier, I would guarantee to annoy a lot of people! 

I also refuse to let myself think about it until today onwards because there are still so many wonderful things that happen before Christmas that are important to me: my brother's birthday in October, Halloween and of course bonfire night, which are all worthy of being enjoyed first. 

My Christmas cake

That said, it doesn't stop me writing things down and quietly planning for the festive season, and the top of my list every year is of course, my homemade Christmas cake! Between you and me, that pops into my head around September time, mainly because I have to make it so far in advance and I always like to do it over the last weekend in October because that gives me plenty of time to spend feeding it. So yes, the cake is baked and ready to get drunk on Brandy before I marzipan and ice it mid December. 

So here we are today, 6th November and, 7 weeks today, it will be CHRISTMAS DAY! Can you believe it? I've already been looking at present ideas for my nephews and wondering what I can buy my family this year. I even spent yesterday watching some of those heartwarming Christmas movies you find on TV now. I know, I know, it was a day early, but I was home alone, so nobody knew! 

That's what I love though; the feeling of togetherness and being with my family. Seeing my nephews getting excited about Father Christmas coming to town, enjoying Bailey's and homemade mince pies, and of course, decorating the house with lovely trees and sparkly lights. It really is a magical time.

Next thing to do: writing my Christmas card list! 

When things go bump in the night

Today is Halloween and there are certainly some strange things going on around me. I've had pens disappearing off my desk at work, my cat starting ferociously at absolutely nothing and my next door neighbours are having a bonfire and fireworks party.

I guess that's all part of the spooktacular that surrounds today. We've had a flurry of trick or treaters knocking on the door - luckily my housemate bought a bag of sweets just incase so we've been able to get involved. I've only ever been trick or treating once when I was 16. I know, I know, who dresses up and goes begging for sweets at the age of 16? Now I'm all about getting dressed up and going out for a few drinks and that's exactly what I did on Saturday. Dressing up as a devil I went to the Picturedrome with some friends for a night of horror and lots of prosecco! 

Now I don't have the best track record when it comes to going out for Halloween because I always end up with my head down the toilet the following morning and the whole day is a write off, but the devils were on my side this year and I survived with just a minor headache and dehydration! 

Another first for me this Halloween is I finally got round to calving a pumpkin after my housemate bought us both one to decorate the house with. I can't say I'll rush to do one again and my calving skills are a lot to be desired, but in the spirit of Halloween, it was fun! 

Now as the stragglers continue to knock on our door, I have given up the scaremongering in favour of the GBBO final. The kettle has boiled and a big cup of tea is calling so I'm off to indulge in some cake envy for the next hour! 

Happy Halloween lovelies x

The Chocolate Elf

Christmas is getting closer and there's nothing I love more than planning what presents I'm going to buy, baking cakes and mince pies and watching cheesy festive movies. What I also love is the way in which people come together to help and support those who need it. 

That's exactly what local Facebook group, The Chocolate Elf are doing. Set up in 2015 and run by a group of people in Northampton, The Chocolate Elf set out to deliver Christmas cheer by donating advent calendars and selection boxes to children in Northamptonshire.

After what started off as a status update from a young lady called Kelly McAlinden, asking if anyone would like to contribute to a local food bank after she bought a stack of selection boxes for them to give out on Christmas Day, soon turned into a thriving charitable production with the help of her friends, and a mass of people and local businesses within the community. 

"Our dream is that on 1st December every child in Northamptonshire should have an advent calendar to open, on the 25th December every child in Northamptonshire should have a selection box to open."

Three years later, the group have have now identified a range of good causes to deliver to including Northampton General Hospital, St Andrews Healthcare and to local young carers in the area. They are now also taking donations of adult socks and include the elderly and homeless with whom they are helping. 

The group have set up various drop off points around the county to give people the opportunity to get involved in their local areas, and already the donations are coming in. Not only that, The Chocolate Elf have this year expanded to Newmarket, Bury, Eastleigh and Southampton so it won't be long before they are reaching world domination! 

So when you are out and about over the next few weeks, spare a thought for this group and if you can, pop a couple of extra items into your shopping trolly that can be donated and let's all do our bit to help. 

For more information on where to donate, visit The Chocolate Elf on Facebook.

Happy bank holiday, lovelies

There's something to be said about sunny bank holiday, and today is no exception.

I woke up to photographs from my family Watsapp chat from my mum, who is currently enjoying a break in Devon, and sent a gorgeous picture of the view from her early morning walk around Batham, followed closely behind from my brother, who is on a holiday in Dorset, and spending the day at Shore Road beach with his family.

It is now 3.30pm and I am chilling in my back garden, music on, sun shining and enjoying a vodka and diet coke before catching up with some friends later this evening. My next door neighbours have the same idea. On one side the family are enjoying a late lunch together and being entertained by my kitten, Domino, who keeps jumping into their garden, much to the excitement of the little girl who is with them. On the other side of me, it is very much the same scene, only the bbq is on the go and talk about Sarah Harding's win on Big Brother is very much a topic of debate!

The weather is being particularly kind to us too. As Brits, we are used to expecting less sunshine and more rain these days, however I think the Gods have decided to give us a break and departed the grey, unleased the blue and it's lovely! Everyone is in good spirits. I can hear music in the distance, champagne is being popped and cheers can be heard from a nearby birthday celebration. It really is a lovely way for us to enjoy the last of this years bank holidays.

In a few hours time I am going to be venturing out to a nearby pub garden for a much needed catch up with some girlfriends, but in the meantime, my feet are up, the sun cream is on and I am relishing in some much needed vitamin D!

Enjoy the rest of your bank holiday weekend, lovelies.

Live life, dream big and go for it

Over the last week and a half I have been spending some much needed time away from work and recharging the batteries and I can't tell you how much I have been enjoying it. After what has felt like a year of non-stop work, I have spent time thinking about what I'm doing with my life and the priorities I have been putting on the back burner, and it has really got me thinking. 

Two days ago whilst going through my Facebook memories, I stumbled across a message left on my page from a guy I got talking to at University. Talk about a blast from the past! Doing what no doubt everyone does in these situations, I clicked on his page to have a nosey at what he's up to now and to my shock, I discovered his page had been turned into a memorial of his life. This lovely man who I knew for a short time in my life had lost his to a rare form of cancer, leaving behind a wife and two children. My heart broke in two right there and I found myself crying my eyes out. He was only a year older than me and although we only knew each other for a short time, he really was one of life's good guys. 

Since Friday, so many thoughts have been going through my mind. I have been thinking about how his passing must be affecting all those so close to him and it has reminded me again just how precious life is. 

On Saturday night I was going to meet up with a guy I've known for a few years. We originally met on Tinder (Yes, I admit it, I'm on there!) and without going into too much detail, it didn't work out. Despite really liking him and both of us wanting the same thing (to settle down, get married, kids etc etc) for some reason or another fate had other ideas and it never happened. However, we have recently been in touch with each other again, and although I had my reservations, I agreed to meet up with him and last night was going to be it, but once again, fate got in the way and it didn't happen. 

Whilst you may find it odd that I have skipped so frivolously to this topic, the reason I am bringing it up is because despite agreeing to meet him, I admit, I was apprehensive. I was worried about how it would make me feel seeing him again, but after my Facebook shock on Friday, I realised life is too short to be worrying about that and I should go for it. That being said, he cancelled on me anyway so it wasn't meant to be. 

Still in my reflection bubble, I have been thinking about all sorts of things; maybe a little too much thinking, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't trying to over analyse and justify myself. What I have decided though is I am a good person and I deserve someone good to come into my life and treat me well. I also know that despite my anxiety, my sensitivity and my perseverance to try new things, the only way I am going to really live my life is if I do something about it. 

Although the work rush has started to settle down, I know when I go back next week there will be lots to do and I don't doubt for a minute that it will get any less busy. However, what I do know is it's time to re-evaluate my work/life balance and start putting my dreams into plans once more. There are still so many things I want to do and somewhere along the line I have forgotten about them. Not any more. Now is the time for me to focus not just on work, but on myself and start crossing off my own personal "to do" list. 

Life is short and it's so important to do everything you dream of while you still can. To the man I once knew, Rest In Peace. I send all my love and thoughts to your family and friends and am so sorry to hear your life was cruelly taken so soon. During the brief time when we crossed paths, it was a pleasure to know you and I can only imagine how big the gap must be in the lives of those you have left behind. 

Vacancy available, apply below...

Today I am tired; emotionally and physically. It took every drop of energy to drag myself out of bed despite fighting against the snooze button on my alarm clock. Work was tough; I tried to get through it as best as I could by listening to some of my favourite music on YouTube, but the drive home took me straight to Tesco express and as a result have just eaten my way through a Chicken Jalfrezi and am already over halfway through a bottle on Pinot!

The worst thing about feeling like this is the difficulty I have trying to snap out of it. I usually find it easy enough to do, once I've have a shower, strong coffee and decorated my face with make up, but today? No, today wasn't happening.

I know what a need: a holiday and a bit of TLC. Thankfully I have some time off coming up which I can't wait for, but seriously, the TLC would be so lush. I'm not asking for much, just a few cuddles, a massage and plenty of wine and/or vodka. A girl can dream!

So now, here I am, curled up in my snuggle chair browsing through Tinder and Bumble wondering what on earth is going on with my life! I'm contemplating going to bed now, after all it is 9pm, but then again Celeb Big Brother is about to start. Yes, I watch it...like I said, what on earth is going on in my life! 

At least, for now, I have Domino (my housemate's kitten) to cudddle up to. In the meantime, anyone wishing to apply for the position of TLC giver, feel free to leave me a message in the comments underneath this post! 

Now, time for a top up....

Flying as a 'very fat person': a heartbreaking account of one woman's experience

During my lunch break today, I stumbled across an article I found online about the experiences of flying for a plus-size woman. Initially I was drawn to it because I am a total contradiction when it comes to flying. I absolutely hate it but am fascinated by it at the same time (when I'm on the ground, that is!) so when I saw this piece, many questions entered my head. What followed next, I hadn't expected.

Opening up the article, I overlooked the introduction as my eye caught sight of a thread of tweets by a lady on twitter who goes by the name @yrfatfriend detailing an experience she had with a fellow passenger on a flight, and the preparation she goes through before even booking a plane ticket. 

From researching airline policies on sizes of customers and purchasing two seats for herself to taking her own seat belt extenders so she can save on the embarrassment of asking the flight attendant for one, I immediately felt my heart breaking for her, but it didn't stop there. She continued to explain how she is made to feel when on a plane: 

"As a very fat person on a plane, I am treated like luggage--a cumbersome, exasperating, inconvenience. Inanimate & unfeeling."

I felt angry. Who on this earth has the right to make another person feel this way? She is no different to the rest of us so why is she being subjected to such appalling behaviour? Just because she carries more weight than others? No, this is unacceptable. 

She continued to recall the first time someone made a complaint against her. She was on an overbooked flight and moved to a middle seat next to man who made no attempt to engage with her other than to say "this is for your comfort. It'll be better for both of us" after he'd taken the time to complain about her to the flight attendant. W***er sprung to my mind when I read that, quickly followed by tears when she continued to express how that made her feel:

"I spent the rest of the flight with my arms & legs crossed. Humiliated and alone. No one spoke to me or made eye contact."

My heart broke once more and completely shattered when she concluded this encounter when the man spoke to her at the end of the flight:

"I wouldn't do that to someone who was pregnant or in a wheelchair" he said. "I know," I said "That's what makes this so awful."

This terrible experience stopped the woman from flying for a year and a half. A year and a half! Again, not acceptable. She refused to travel for work and missed out on quality time with her family, all because of some ignorant arsehole who felt it was his duty to body shame someone. 

Although she is now flying again, and very much refusing to let people get to her, I can't help but think this battle is one she will continue to fight:

"I fly because my life is my own, and others' preconceptions of me & my body won't control it. But they can make it much, much harder."

In a world where we are faced with so much hatred, one of the things that restores my faith in humanity is the way in which we pull together in times when it was needed. Where was her support? We shouldn't need a disaster to happen to look out for people. We should ALWAYS be looking out for one another. Why didn't anyone stick up for her or confront the man for his offensive behavior? 

We need to spend less time judging and more time supporting one another, which is why I have written this blog. @yrfatfriend, I don't know you and you don't know me, but please know this; there are people out there who will stick up for you and support you. There are people who will not judge and there are people who will fight back when you can't find the strength to do it on your own. As you mentioned in your thread, I hope you continue to progress and shine within your career and enjoy every moment you have with your niece and nephew. As an aunty myself, I know how important these moments are and I would hate for anyone to stop me from seeing them because of a nasty comment. 

Continue to be you and don't let the weak minded bring you down.

To read the full article, click here.

A different beat

Sometimes you have to write what's in your heart. Today is this, maybe tomorrow it will be a different story...

Wrap your arms around me. Tell me I’ll be ok.

Keep me safe from the world, all throughout the day.

When night time falls, I cannot sleep, remind me you are near

Let me know I’m not alone; that I have nothing left to fear.

My fragile heart is feeling sad, my soul is tired and weak

Wrap me up, keep me warm, my outlook feels so bleak

I want to smile and feel the heat, of love that surrounds me so

But here today, I cannot do, so please don’t let me go.