Live life, dream big and go for it

Over the last week and a half I have been spending some much needed time away from work and recharging the batteries and I can't tell you how much I have been enjoying it. After what has felt like a year of non-stop work, I have spent time thinking about what I'm doing with my life and the priorities I have been putting on the back burner, and it has really got me thinking. 

Two days ago whilst going through my Facebook memories, I stumbled across a message left on my page from a guy I got talking to at University. Talk about a blast from the past! Doing what no doubt everyone does in these situations, I clicked on his page to have a nosey at what he's up to now and to my shock, I discovered his page had been turned into a memorial of his life. This lovely man who I knew for a short time in my life had lost his to a rare form of cancer, leaving behind a wife and two children. My heart broke in two right there and I found myself crying my eyes out. He was only a year older than me and although we only knew each other for a short time, he really was one of life's good guys. 

Since Friday, so many thoughts have been going through my mind. I have been thinking about how his passing must be affecting all those so close to him and it has reminded me again just how precious life is. 

On Saturday night I was going to meet up with a guy I've known for a few years. We originally met on Tinder (Yes, I admit it, I'm on there!) and without going into too much detail, it didn't work out. Despite really liking him and both of us wanting the same thing (to settle down, get married, kids etc etc) for some reason or another fate had other ideas and it never happened. However, we have recently been in touch with each other again, and although I had my reservations, I agreed to meet up with him and last night was going to be it, but once again, fate got in the way and it didn't happen. 

Whilst you may find it odd that I have skipped so frivolously to this topic, the reason I am bringing it up is because despite agreeing to meet him, I admit, I was apprehensive. I was worried about how it would make me feel seeing him again, but after my Facebook shock on Friday, I realised life is too short to be worrying about that and I should go for it. That being said, he cancelled on me anyway so it wasn't meant to be. 

Still in my reflection bubble, I have been thinking about all sorts of things; maybe a little too much thinking, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't trying to over analyse and justify myself. What I have decided though is I am a good person and I deserve someone good to come into my life and treat me well. I also know that despite my anxiety, my sensitivity and my perseverance to try new things, the only way I am going to really live my life is if I do something about it. 

Although the work rush has started to settle down, I know when I go back next week there will be lots to do and I don't doubt for a minute that it will get any less busy. However, what I do know is it's time to re-evaluate my work/life balance and start putting my dreams into plans once more. There are still so many things I want to do and somewhere along the line I have forgotten about them. Not any more. Now is the time for me to focus not just on work, but on myself and start crossing off my own personal "to do" list. 

Life is short and it's so important to do everything you dream of while you still can. To the man I once knew, Rest In Peace. I send all my love and thoughts to your family and friends and am so sorry to hear your life was cruelly taken so soon. During the brief time when we crossed paths, it was a pleasure to know you and I can only imagine how big the gap must be in the lives of those you have left behind.