Coronavirus entry 43: One year on

Today marks one year since the Government officially put us into national lockdown because of the Coronavirus, and on this very day last year, I started my first "Coronavirus entry" here on my blog. I noted how 281 people had died in the UK since the virus broke at the end of January and 5,683 people had been confirmed as having the virus. 365 days later and the Government website figures state 126,284 people have died within 28 days of a positive test in the UK alone and there are 148,125 deaths with Covid-19 recorded on death certificates.

A one minute silence took place at midday today to remember the victims of this awful pandemic and this evening, people have been lighting candles, and famous landmarks around the country have been lit up to signify this remembrance. 

It feels strange thinking about this day a year ago; saying goodbye to my colleagues work and sending messages to my family and friends, where we were all reiterating the same message - to keep in touch, and most importantly, stay safe. Nobody knew the extent of this virus, and even I admit to being a little naive about the whole situation, believing we would be back at work within a few weeks. 

Over the last 12 months we have seen mass panic as people stock up on food and home supplies; businesses - big and small - going into liquidation; a huge surge in redundancies, the NHS at breaking point, 3 national lockdowns and families torn apart with grief from losing their loved ones. 

We have also seen the most wonderful acts of kindness and support from all over the country. People have gone out of their way to donate money where they can, provide home made bakes and gifts for frontline workers and find ways collaboratively, to help supply food and meals to those who need it. Neighbours have joined together to clap for our heroes and have taken the time to look out for the elderly and vulnerable. 

Half of the UK adult population (approx 28 million) have now had their first vaccination and the Government are planning to get all adults immunised by the end of July. We are now slowly starting to come out of what we hope to be our last lockdown and begin living our lives as best we can, however we are already hearing from the Government that this may not be as fast acting as first hoped. 

Whatever happens over the next few weeks, today is one we should all reflect on. It has been one of the strangest years of our lives and has affected us all individually in so many ways. Going forward, I hope we can continue to unite together in support and love and do the best we can to help those who need it. My thoughts tonight are with the families who have lost loved ones and I am lighting my own candle in your memory. 

Coronavirus entry 42: Monday blues

Today has been an odd day. It started when I woke up....actually, scrap that. It started at about 6pm last night. I suddenly started to feel really overwhelmed to a point where I got into bed an hour later because I didn't know what to do with myself. 

I went through the usual plethora of things I do when I feel like this starting with the standard questions:

Has something happened?

Am I worrying about something? 

Where am I now?

Am I safe? 

I then did some breathing exercises and gentle stretches, washed my face, had a glass of water and did some more concentrated breathing and to be fair that did help. 

I slept relatively well albeit waking up a couple of times in the night, but that's normal for me. It was only when my alarm went off that I realised I was still feeling really crappy! 

I normally set 4 alarms every day but by the second one I'm ready to get out of bed and start my day. Today was different though. All four alarms went off and I still couldn't get up. Thankfully my radio was on and I suddently heard it was coming up for 8am, but all that did was cause panic to set in as I realised I only had 30 mins to get ready for a meeting. Thank goodness I'm still working from home....and thank God for dry shampoo!

I did it though but as soon as my laptop went on I sat at my desk and had an uncontrollable urge to start crying. This was not what how I envisaged my Monday to begin. I held it together, and with a big cup of coffee, I got through the meeting, but that awful sickie feeling was lingering and I could feel it getting worse.

I tried reasoning with myself and it did help for a bit but I just felt overcome with Monday blues and all I wanted to do was go back to bed! I mentioned it to a colleague when we were having a catch up but played it down as I didn't want to start crying. To be fair she was really sweet and again it did help but my stomach was still doing somersaults. 

By lunchtime I decided some fresh air would be good so I went for a walk to clear my head. I usually listen to music whenever I walk but today the thought of putting earphones in my ears agitated me so I didn't bother. 

It was a nice walk. The sun was out and it was a bit chilly too but I like that feeling. I did a nice route too, just under 3k, so enough to get a good bit of fresh air. 

I felt better when I got home but it didn't last long. The churning in my stomach soon came back and I could feel the tears building up again. My head was starting to feel like tv snow and it was really making me feel on edge. I drank more water and did more breathing but by 5pm I was exhausted. 

I logged off my laptop and sunk myself into a bubble bath, laying there for ages wondering why on earth I felt so off balance. I then lay on my bed for about an hour, questioning whether to bother having dinner but then I suddenly felt really hungry so knew I should! 

It's now time to go to bed and I'm still feeling all kinds of strange. For whatever reason I haven't been able to shake this feeling today so the best thing I can do is go to sleep and just hope I feel better in the morning! 

Coronavirus entry 41: Where has the time gone?

I can't believe it's been nearly two months since my last blog - where has that time gone? I had such an outpouring of love after my last post which found me ranting and raving about how annoyed I was feeling, and it made me realise just how lucky I am to have the most incredible people in my life. Friends and family got in touch to check in on me, I had people messaging me on Facebook and some even reaching out on Twitter to make sure I was ok. Honestly, it was a lovely feeling.

A lot has happened since then too. The Government have began a 4 step programme to ease us out of lockdown, starting tomorrow (8th March) where all children and students will return to school and college. There has been a lot of at home celebrating on social media this weekend from parents who have been congratulating each other on a job well done, but are very much looking forward to the teachers taking over now! The Government are also toying with the idea of keeping schools open over the summer holidays to allow for catch up classes, however I personally don't agree because I think teachers and pastoral leads have been working hard enough to do their job, and they now need a break as much as everyone else does. Whether it happens will remain to be seen. 

We also bid a final farewell to Sir Captain Tom Moore, who sadly passed away on 2nd February after being treated for Pneumonia and testing positive for Covid-19. This wonderful man came to the attention of us, not just the United Kingdom, but to everyone around the world, after he decided to raise money for the NHS by walking 100 lengths of his garden in the lead up to his 100th birthday. His initial goal was £1000 but in the end he raised over £32 million and touched the hearts of us all! 

On a more personal level, I have now gone back to full time work after being furloughed in June last year, getting made redundant in October but being offered a part time role. After a meeting with one of my Directors, it became apparent that there was enough work for me to do, and so I accepted and last week was my first week back! It's nice because it also means I will start getting more money from the end of this month too. It's all slowly coming back together! 

The most important thing to happen to me was on Friday, I received the first of two covid vaccinations. I was sent a text message from my doctor's surgery a week ago, and to be fair I thought it was a scam because my age range (40 - 49) are only scheduled to be done by the end of June. In fact, there are people who are older than me who are still waiting for their vaccinations, so it was a bit of a shock when I got called for mine but when I spoke to my surgery they said it was legitimate so I booked in. On Friday lunchtime at 12.30pm I was given the Astrazeneca vaccine. I will now get called up again in 12 weeks time for the second round. 

I've had a few side effects this weekend, mainly a sore arm where they injection went in, but also a few headache twinges and feeling really tired. I spent most of yesterday lying on the sofa reading my book, and it was only when I got up to cook dinner that I felt like I was coming down with the flu and all I wanted to do was get into bed. I don't actually think I've cooked and eaten dinner so quickly before. Infact, I was in bed by 7.30pm dosing up on paracetamol. Despite a bad nights sleep, it seems to have passed and all I am dealing with today is a sore arm so hopefully by tomorrow I will be ok! The nurse did say they were the typical symptoms though so I'm not worried. 

So tomorrow is quite a significant day in the shift to come out of lockdown. Fingers crossed this plan will work and we can all be back with our friends and family very soon. It's a nice thought, that's for sure!