Leave a light on

It's 1 o'clock in the morning and I wake up suddenly from a terrifying dream. The sky is full of beautiful orange lanterns that very quickly turn into guns that start shooting at me and those I'm with. I try and run for cover whilst screaming out for my brother and sister to make sure they're close by and safe. Someone tells me they're ok and then pushes me to the ground as more bullets start hitting the floor around us...

It's not the first time I've had this dream, however this time the only difference was the location. Where it was, I don't know, but it wasn't the same as before, however what happened was identical.

According to an online dream dictionary (yes I went there...!) lanterns represent feelings and wisdom to guide through life's journey. (Not bad!) Terror indicates unresolved fears or doubts that need to be confronted (hmmmm...) and to dream someone is shooting at you with a gun means I am experiencing some confrontation in my waking life. A gun also represents aggression, anger, and potential danger. (Oh dear!)

The worst thing about waking up from a dream like this is not having anyone to calm me down.....and that is tough because when your heart is racing at a million miles per hour and tears are uncontrollably falling down your cheeks, asking for comfort from someone next to you would usually help the situation. Instead I find myself, through sheer desperation, sending out a tweet in the hope that someone, somewhere, reads it and can help my troubled mind to relax and get back to sleep. Pathetic, I know. Of course, nobody does reply (well, not until 3 hours later) and so I am left sitting in bed trying to console myself in the dark by scrolling through an online dream dictionary that could well and truly be a load of rubbish!

I'm not sure why I had that dream, but there's obviously a reason given it's repetition. It reminds me of a recurring nightmare I had as a child where I walk into a dark room to screams coming from my mum, dad, brother and sister, all desperately asking me to save them from a locked cage while a giant green Dragon is blaring fire out of its mouth towards them.

I never understood that one either; but given my mum and dad are now divorced, I do wonder whether it was my inner consciousness trying desperately hard to save my family before it became a reality. Who knows?

I have been sensibly mulling over my life choices lately and looking at where my future is heading so I guess it makes sense that lanterns made a gentle appearance. As for the terror and guns though...that's probably the anxiety I carry around with me on a daily basis, which has been somewhat rife of late. Maybe that's the terror. But guns? I'm just not sure? We did get into a rather heated debate at work this week about people who would cheat if they could get away with it, and I have to admit, it left me feeling all kinds of angry and sad. Maybe on a deeper level it affected me more than I thought?

They're funny things, dreams. I have so many yet it always seems to be the most painful ones that stick in my mind; it's quite sad when you think about it. Why the bad dreams? Why can't the nice ones resonate so powerfully?

I'm hoping by sharing it here I can get rid of it, after all I have enough noise going on in my head as it is without adding dream trauma into the mix!

Fingers crossed tonight is better...