Coronavirus entry 13: The world is in uproar

I have sat down at my laptop on a number of occasions since my last post but have struggled to find the words to write anything. I have been feeling really stressed lately and the news is getting more horrendous every day. 

Despite us now having lost a total of 38,161 lives to this awful virus, the world witnessed something barbaric on Monday, when a 46 year old black man called George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis after being arrested for allegedly using counterfeit money. 

During his arrest, a white police officer called Derek Chauvin, knelt on George Floyd's neck for almost 9 minutes whilst he was handcuffed and face down on the floor. Despite his attempts to ask the police offer to stop, and repeatedly shouting "I can't breathe", onlookers pleaded for him to be let go. After four minutes, George Floyd was seen lying motionless on the floor and was later pronounced dead in hospital by medical professionals. 

Since then, all across America, there have been riots in protest and people all over the world are responding with the most incredible support and many questions are being raised on why things like this are still happening to black people.

We are living in 2020 now. People appear to be a lot more open and accepting of each other, and solidarity is definitely present, yet there are still people out there who deem is acceptable to treat a person with a lack of respect, dignity and brutality, because their skin colour is different. Why? 

This is an incredibly sad thing that has happened and it breaks my heart. More needs to be done to stop this cruel treatment taking place and now is the time for us to join together and do something about it.

Coronavirus entry 12: Surviving the M.E lockdown

During a recent catch up with a friend of mine over text, she was asking how I was coping with being in lockdown. I told her I wasn't particularly enjoying it, but was just trying to get through it like everyone else. What I hadn't anticipated was her response: 

"...to be honest, life with M.E is like lockdown, sadly. I don't want to upset you darl, but I haven't been out the house since my op in February and am now bed bound again so it doesn't feel any different for me."

Wow, did that make me sit up and take note. Now I know there was no malice in her reply, but it suddenly hit me. My poor friend, who was diagnosed with M.E whilst at University, has spent the best part of 20 years suffering with, and trying to live with, this condition. She has spent so much of that time in her own lockdown situation, so what we as a country are going through now, doesn't feel strange for her in the slightest. In that moment, I honestly felt horrendous and selfish for telling her I was struggling.

For anyone who doesn't know, M.E (myalgic encephalomyelitis) is a disease of the nervous system which causes chronic fatigue, muscle and joint pain, head fog, difficulty with concentrating and sore throat/glands, to name a few. Not everyone with M.E suffers with it in the same way, but when it hits you hard, you are often bed bound for weeks, if not months. 

I am very aware of the struggles she goes through. On the good days, we can have some really lovely catch ups but there are times when I don't hear from her for weeks, and that's when I know she's really bad. Thank goodness for text messages because even a quick message to say hi to her, I know helps so much. During the bad days, she does sometime find the strength to reply, even if it's a thumbs up or love heart emoji. Occasionally I'll get a text from her mum and my replies then are usually longer as I know she can spend time re-reading them to her when she's up to it.

Life really does have a funny way of reminding you of what you should be grateful for. I know one day, my friend is going to be able to muster up enough energy to come round to my house so we can sit in the garden and drink cocktails together. I also know one day we will be able to go to the pub and have lunch together and gossip like we used to, and I can't bloody wait. 

Back in the day....

To anyone who might be feeling a little bit sad tonight, please don't. Pick up the phone, call a friend and have a good cry or moan, and remember this life we are living is crazy right now, but be grateful for all you have. We will get through this.

To my friend, Amy. You are an incredible human being. I know M.E wasn't part of the plan, but you, my friend, continue to always be the sweetest, most kind hearted and loyal person and I am so grateful that I have you in my life. I PROMISE, the moment you say you are feeling ok, I will be round to see you. Thank you for throwing some perspective my way, and I will continue to always be here for you, regularly update you with my news and carry on writing my blogs for you! 

For more information about M.E visit the ME Association website. 

Coronavirus Entry 11: Happy Birthday to me!

Please note, in this post I talk about my family who came to visit me on my birthday. I would like to make it clear that all visits were done safely, and at a social distance; there was no human contact. All birthday hugs are banked and ready for when we are officially told they can happen.

Wow what a weekend it has been! I finished work on Thursday and go back tomorrow because not only did we have a bank holiday, but it was also my 40th birthday! I had planned to write this entry on my actual birthday, but it has been so busy and amazing, I have only managed to sit down and write about it all today. 

Since the second half of last year I have been proactively deciding on what it is I wanted to do this year given it's milestone and there were various ideas thrown around including a family holiday, a meal in a nice restaurant, day out in London to see a show, until I finally settled on organising a big party instead! Planning it was so much fun. So many lists were written, so many ideas of what I wanted - theme, music, food, drinks on arrival, but most importantly, I just wanted everyone to get drunk with me and dance the night away! 

When this year began, things started to get serious! It was all about what dress I was going to wear, and I ended up buying two, knowing full well they weren't the end of my search! The plans were all going well until we went into lockdown and I was suddenly hit with the prospect of spending my birthday, not only indoors, but also on my own.

I won't lie, at first I was gutted and really upset about it, despite trying to find the positive in the situation, and there was a part of me that was secretly hoping by this weekend, some sort of relaxed arrangement would have been made by the Government, but unfortunately, we are still in lockdown. 

As the weeks went by, I got more used to the idea that my party wouldn't go ahead and the day I had to send out messages to everyone to let them know I made the decision to let it be and arrange one as when it would be safe to do so. 

I had an inkling my family were planning something to still make it special for me, but I wasn't entirely sure what they were cooking up given the restrictions we had in place, but oh my goodness, they did not fail!

It all started on Thursday when my friend, Chelsey dropped off a present and some flowers at my front door. Next, followed on the same day, were two more flower deliveries, one from my aunty and the other from my work colleagues.

I then received another delivery on Friday from my sister who arranged a pre-birthday pamper package for me including face masks, exfoliation scrub, moisturiser, pjs, chocolate, a bottle of cider, nail varnish and nail files. That was a real spoil!

Saturday saw three more deliveries, including a case of champagne and some social distancing conversations with a couple of friends (at different times). Honestly, by the evening, I was already feeling so spoilt and loved, it was unbelievable. 

Sunday (10th) was my birthday and I woke up to a flurry of Whatsapp and Facebook messages. I was actually awake really early - I think it was the excitement of it being my birthday! I opened the cards I had received in the post and the present Chelsey dropped off for me and indulged in a morning latte! 

By 10.30am, my mum had arrived at my house. I knew she was coming round so I had unlocked my back gate so she could let herself in and wow, was my garden full of surprises! Beautiful pink flowers, a bag of presents, a food hamper, an amazing birthday cake and of course, a bottle of bucks fizz! Whilst she was visiting, another delivery arrived, this time, two big bunches of flowers from my local garden centre. One from my friend, Sally, who I used to live with, and the other was from my family. I was in tears! I couldn't believe how beautiful this all was! It was really hard saying goodbye to my mum because I really wanted her to stay all day, but we both knew this was only going to be a quick visit - and little did I know a family zoom call was coming later on anyway!

Flowers received from my family

A couple of hours later, and after my mum had gone home, my sister arrived. Again, my garden was full of more gifts, 40th birthday bunting and giant silver helium filled 40 balloons that were blowing all over the place! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. As I was going through the unwrapping of my presents, I received another notification on my phone and it was something my sister said she was sending to me. Well, this wasn't just any message. She had only gone and organised a video message for me to watch of my friends and family wishing me happy birthday. Talk about emotional! I was an absolute mess as I watched family and friends from all over the world wishing me a happy 40th! I was absolutely blown away.

Later on that day, there was a knock on my front window and on opening the door, there was a big box of presents in front of me and in a car outside my house was my brother, his wife and my two nephews all wishing me happy birthday! I sat outside while they all stayed in the car and watched me open my presents and enjoyed a frozen mojito which they had organised to be delivered to my house! What a spoil! 

After they had left I went back inside my house and thought about organising something to eat, afterall, I had been drinking all day so it was much needed. As I started to get some food together, the next flurry of events took place, only this time, it was all on zoom. A call with my aunties, a mass family call and ending with catch up with my uni friends. Before I knew it, the day had gone and it was 10pm at night! 

By that time I was absolutely exhausted, but SO unbelievably happy. I got into my pj's, made myself a cup of tea and finally got round to reading all the messages that had been sent to me throughout the day. It certainly wasn't the birthday I had planned, but there's no doubt about it, I couldn't have been anymore spoilt. Thoughtfully written cards, so many bottles of champagne and prosecco, flowers, jewellery, photos...I am so overwhelmed. 

Thankfully I had yesterday and today off work too, and I can't tell you how much I needed it! I've spent the last few days trying to take it all in and spend time looking at all the wonderful presents I've received, and read all the lovely cards I have been sent. Of course, I have also watched the video messages over and over again - that is one I will treasure for the rest of my life! 

Overall, I have to say, turning 40 during a lockdown, wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Infact, it was better! I am so bloody lucky to have the most amazing friends and family in my life and I absolutely cannot wait until I can see them all again. 

Thank you to everyone of you for making my 40th birthday such a special day. I love you all so much xxx

My birthday cake!

Coronavirus entry 10: VE Day: 75th anniversary

Today marks the 75th anniversary of VE Day - Victory in Europe - this day in 1945 where Winston Churchill made a radio announcement at 3pm that fighting against Nazi Germany had come to an end, following their surrender the day before. On that day, people dressed up in red, white, and blue and stood outside Buckingham Palace celebrating with King George VI, Princess Margaret and Princess Elizabeth (our current Queen) who looked on from the infamous balcony that still draws crowds to today. Apparently later that evening, both Princesses dressed up in disguise and snuck out of the Palace to go and join the masses who were partying. Girls after my own heart!

Under normal circumstances, and given the landmark anniversary, there would have been a lot of parties, parades and events taking place to mark the occasion. Even May day bank holiday was moved to coincide with the anniversary, however, as we are still in lockdown, there have been strict rules around what we can and can't do. 

Street parties are still banned, however people have been encouraged to put DIY bunting up outside their homes and enjoy social distancing drinks and cake on front gardens. I saw a few houses have been decorated during my afternoon walk today and there was a little gathering of people sitting outside their homes enjoying drinks, chatting and laughing together, all within social distancing limits, of course! I even heard fireworks going off in the distance this evening, although I couldn't see them, but I did think that was nice touch. (I haven't watched the news today so I'm writing this with the hope that people haven't ignore the rules and put themselves at risk!)

Despite this strange time we are living in, there was something special about seeing people together, and hearing the laughter did bring a smile to my face. A sign of things to come, I hope. 

Boris Johnson is set to address the nation on Sunday to give another update on the current lockdown situation. There have now been 211,000 confirmed cases of Coronavirus in the UK, and more than 31,000 deaths, the highest official death toll in Europe. Yesterday 626 deaths were recorded in this country. This number has started to reduce, but I don't think it's enough to warrant any major changes. Once again, there is a lot of hearsay around what announcement will be made. A lot of people, me included, are hoping there is something around being able to see family members in small groups, but if that's not the case, then we just need to try and carry on as we are for a little bit longer. I guess only time will tell.