I get by with a little help from my friends....

Sometimes things happen to us in life that are so unexpected and they floor you to a point of wondering if you’ll ever be able to get up again. This happened to me recently and I was left feeling like a mirror that had shattered into millions of pieces.

I’m not going to divulge the incident because it still pains me to talk about it but what happened was enough to make me question my self worth. Thankfully, the support and love I have received from my family and friends has been incredible and they have helped me through a very difficult few weeks which is something I will always be grateful for. 

Since then, I have been doing a lot of reflecting, a LOT of crying and putting a lot of things into perspective and it’s been a rather cathartic experience. 

Coincidentally, at the same time as doing this, one of my trainers from a fitness group I am a member of, called LPT*, who run a mindfulness page on Facebook added this:

‘The things you struggle and agonise over most,
The things you find most challenging and give you the most sleepless nights,
The things that create the most stress, anxiety and overwhelm...

It’s all these things that provide you the greatest opportunity for personal growth. So, rather than dwell on the big challenges and allow them to pull you down, use these challenges as gifts; as the raw materials for becoming a stronger and more successful individual.'

Not only was this posted at the right time for me, it also made me realise we are constantly going to be up against challenges, whether they are expected or not and how we deal with them is going to have a significant affect on our 
wellbeing. 

I’m not saying every challenge will be a difficult one; but talking about it and sharing your concerns with people you trust is going to have such a positive effect on us as individuals and also help to get is through the tricky times.

Goodbye August; you haven't been my favourite month of 2019 that's for sure, but its time to close your door now and step into a brand new month with a whole new set of opportunities. 

Today is the 1st September and has as given me the chance to restart and refocus on what is important to me, and move forward to a happier place. We only have 4 months left in 2019 and I am vowing to make each one of those months count so I can end the year in a much happier place. I have set myself some personal goals for September, which I will reflect on again at the end of the month/beginning of October.

In the meantime, I am feeling nothing but positive about the next few weeks and I hope as each one passes, I will feel a lot stronger, mentally and physically, too.

*To find out more about LPT, you can visit their Facebook pages here:

Northampton LPT
Kettering LPT

Finding me

I read the above quote by Emily McDowell on Instagram yesterday and it resonated so much with me I've felt compelled to write about it.

I have recently been trying to "find myself" after going on a journey to create a healthier and happier lifestyle for myself. Throughout this time I have been dealing with coming to terms with the loss of loved ones so the last year or so has been possibly one of my hardest. As a result I have found myself feeling a lot more sensitive towards the world.

Over the last few months in particular, I have had to listen to a lot of negative comments from people saying "you need to stop being so emotional" or "you need to toughen up". I've had people try and change the way I work, tell me I need to do this, or do that, and it's got to the point where I am so fed up now.

Why cant people simply appreciate me as me? Yes, maybe I do cry a bit more than the person next to me, maybe I do try and see the good in things rather than the bad, yes I know I'm sensitive, but that's just who I am and if you can't appreciate me for the person I am then what right have you got tell me to change?

I have even gone as far as trying to pinpoint times in my life where I was the most happiest and work out if there were any significant moments in my life that have contributed to me being the "negative" Tanya I am obviously portraying today.

The frustrating thing is, despite the above, I am a decent human being. I know what my weaknesses are but I also know my strengths far outweigh these. I'm kind, caring, thoughtful, funny, loving and have integrity, yet that doesn't seem to matter because it's all about being tough these days.

Thankfully I have the most incredible support network of friends and family around me, who love me for the person I am, despite all my flaws, and I guess in the bigger picture, that's all that matters which is something I need to remember. Everything I am being isn't a bad thing, it's just a combination of who I am and the people who can't see that obviously can't see me.