A right Royal knees up!

This weekend I galloped cross country with some friends and got involved with the glitz and glamour of the oh-so Royal Ascot in Berkshire. Thousands of people flocked in their masses dressed to the nines, suited and booted, all competing to win best dress, best hat and of course, big bucks on the horses.

Spending the day there to celebrate the impending nuptials of a friend of ours, we gathered together on Saturday morning and mini bussed our way down to the race track, picnic packed and Prosecco fuelled, it was definitely going to be one to remember.

Managing to get what looked like the last spot of grass in the Silver Ring we quickly made ourselves at home, laying out food and enjoying more wine. There was so much to take in I didn’t know where to start. From the bars and music blaring out, to the never ending supply of totes and betting shops (obviously) to the big screen TV’s, royal procession and in true Great British style, lots of rain! Even the portable toilets were on the plush side. Sales of hair extensions and fake tan must have soared in preparation for this weekend, but I can’t knock anyone because it really was glamour to the max and everyone looked spiffing, darling! 

I even had a little flutter on the Gee Gee’s myself and as someone who knows absolutely nothing about horse racing, I decided to go with a few tip offs to begin with but that didn’t get me anywhere. It was only when I saw a horse with the same first name as my nephew that I decided to bet on him and he only went and won the bloody race, didn’t he old chap! Earnt me a whopping £32, I was ecstatic! The sad thing about it though was the poor horse collapsed and died of a heart attack at the finish which put a damper on things. I was genuinely gutted, but rest assured Thomas Chippendale, you made me a very happy lady!

All in all it was a great day and I definitely would like to go back and do it all again next year.

 

Me and the gang

 

Poetry in motion

I've been attempting to write some poetry lately and have even entered my first competition so thought I would share a couple with you. I hope you enjoy!

Meant to be?

They were always meant to be.

 

Teasing each other in the playground,

Holding hands when nobody was looking,

Stealing kisses behind the bike sheds. 

It was always meant to be. 

They grew up, and so did their love.

Their first time,

Their first house,

Their first child.

 

It was always meant to be. 

Standing by his grave, tears welled in her eyes.

It shouldn’t have happened.

Not now, not ever.

A romantic evening destroyed. 

Doctors tried to resuscitate him

But it was no good.

The internal bleeding was too much.

He flat lined….. 

Their love was gone.

It was no more.

 

It wasn’t meant to be.

 

******************************************************************

Love Hurts  

She sits alone with angst ridden pain.

Her face pale and strained with wonder.

“He loves me, he loves me not”.

Stomach churning knowing he is with her

The one he doesn’t love,

Or does he? 

Broken promises once again.

But she knows she will forgive him

“He love me, he loves me not”.

Her heart pains and tells another story

The one she wants to ignore,

But will she? 

Everyday the hurt get worse

But she tries hard to ignore it

“He loves me, he loves me not”.

Clinging tightly to the words he whispered

The ones that said “I love you”

But does he? 

“He loves me?” 

“He loves me not”

Stumped....

Being able to write means being able to sit down and put words to paper and create something worth reading, something funny, enjoyable, moving, something that even just one person can relate to. But what happens when you write and nothing comes out, yet there are so many things running around in your head that you are dying to express but for some reason you can’t?

 

What’s worse is that thing you know you’re good at, that your friends and family support and encourage you to keep doing in the hope that one day your dreams will be fulfilled, gets thrown back in your face by someone who doesn’t even know you?  

“You’re creativity didn’t wow us.” 

Five words…that’s all it took. Five silly little words to make my eyes sting with salt water and my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach because I know, and I know full well, those words are not true. Everything about me screams creativity. It’s what has helped me express myself, helped me to understand, to learn, and is what I know people love so much about me. It’s my passion, my strength, my heart, my soul, only now it has been tainted by something I should just forget about and move on from.  

But I can’t. It’s there embedded in me. I should do as everyone’s saying, and ignore it because what might be right for one person isn’t necessarily right for another. It’s times like this where I wish the “don’t-give-a-crap-what-people-think-Tanya” would surface, but the reality is, she doesn’t really exist. I wish I could be more carefree and not dwell so much on things. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so damn emotional and sensitive all the time.  

It’s been said though and now I have to deal with it, and the irony of all is that talking isn’t helping me, its writing. Maybe I’m not good enough, maybe this is just a dream, although something inside of me is telling me to keep fighting for that one person out there reading my words to finally see my battle to get noticed. Maybe then, I can rewrite the story again, only next time I will get my happy ending.