Go Mo!

Last night, as I got home from celebrating my friends wedding, I decided to check in with Rio and see what was happening at the Olympics. What I hadn't anticipated was turning on the TV to see Mo Farah, Jessica Ennis-Hill and Greg Rutherford competing. 

As I sat up in bed cheering them all on and feeling completely inspired by their efforts, it was Mo Farah that really made an impact as I watched him become a 3rd time Olympic gold champion in the 10,000m. 

Seeing his race plan unfold, I had everything crossed that he would win...that was until he stumbled. In that moment I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach so I can only image what must have been going through his mind. Then something extraordinary happened. Despite the fall, we witnessed him pick himself back up, continue the race and push himself to not only continue, but also win it!

If ever there was a time to feel inspired, it's now. Mo proved that even at a most crucial point in your life, mishaps can still happen, but it really is about picking yourself up and using all the strength you have to push yourself to that end goal.

So, for anyone out there thinking they're not good enough, can't succeed or are worrying about taking a risk; don't because the race really can be won!

Short Story: Broken Hearted Girl

"I’m not really sure where to start except all I know is I am in love with you. Obscenely in love with you. I think about you all day, every day, it hurts. I wake up and for that split second between dream and reality I feel like everything is ok. That you are here with me, lying wrapped up beside me keeping me warm and safe. 

But you’re not.

Instead I lie in bed at night alone, pining for you, hoping you'll burst through the door in some angst ridden panic telling what a stupid mistake you have made and how sorry you are; begging me to take you back. (Another over active image running through my mind, no doubt). 

All those promises you made to me, the walls you gently knocked down...I trusted you. You made me think things were good, that maybe I had finally met a man who was destined for me; the one I have been waiting so long for. I thought I had found my missing half, but slowly you started to disappear. it was that subtle I barely noticed until I was too far gone to believe what you were doing to me. But now I know, and now it’s too late.

What's frustrating is I am still so ridiculously in love with you my heart and mind can’t figure out what’s happened. I’m torn in two and I can feel myself falling apart and I haven’t even got a clue where, or how, to begin repairing. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, you’re always there. No matter how many friends I surround myself with; how much time I spend with my family and do meaningless things just to keep my mind occupied, I can’t forget you. 

Do you even realise what you are doing to me? I thought we were solid. I thought we wanted the same things, at least that's what you told me. Was everything you said a lie? Did you ever really want any of that with me? I want to hate you so much but I can't. You have thrown me to the wolves and there's nothing I can do to save myself. Are you happy? Are you? 

None of this matters though does it? It's not going to change anything because despite what I am saying to you right now you're not going to burst through my door like a scene out of a movie; you're not going to beg me to take you back because what it all comes down to is I fell in love with a man who didn’t fall in love with me.

And THAT! That, right there, hurts more than I think you will ever imagine. 

But I have to believe. Believe this will get better. Believe however much I try and keep my mind occupied, time will eventually heal the pain and gradually the world will feel like a better place again. I have to believe it will get better because this hurt I am carrying around with me is so fiercely embedded into the pit of my stomach the thought of it never going away is excruciating, and I don't know how long I can live with this feeling. 

I will heal, I have to. For now, though, my tears will continue until I can cry no more.

My beauties

Hi lovelies, well it's certainly been a while since I last wrote to you all. How have you been? Life has, once again, been very busy for me hence my haitus. I am, however, back and it feels good to be writing again. 

So what's been happening in the last three months? Well, I've moved back into a house share in a much better location in town. I feel so much happier so it was a decision well made. My housemate hosted a charity fundraiser BBQ last night for Macmillan so we had a houseful of lovely people having a good time and donating to a good cause. It was my first BBQ of this kind and absolutely loved it. I'm now looking into doing another fundraiser myself as it's been so long since I last did anything significant for charity so watch this space! 

My job has been keeping me so busy, but it a good way! I'm now have a great role as a marketing assistant for two events, one of which took place a week ago, and the second will be at the end of July. Suffice to say, my time has very much been focusing on this, especially as it's my first time working in events. There has been so much to learn but I seem to be taking it in my stride, albeit a little anxiously, but I'm getting great feedback so I must be doing something right! I just need to get my work/sleep time balance right and then I'll be smashing it.

As well as all this marketing I have been doing, I have also joined forces with another fantastic organisation selling an array of health and beauty products. This is the first time I have done anything like this but I am loving it. I've set up my own business page on Facebook and am building up a steady array of followers on Twitter and Instagram. Come and visit me there and say hi! I have lots of offers on at the moment, and if you quote "TandBiscuits" on ordering i'll give you 10% off! 

You see, I told you, life has been hectic - but in a good way! I'm already planning my next adventure as we head into the second part of this year (can you believe we're almost in July? Scary stuff!) No doubt the next six months will be just as busy and exciting, but I'm hopefully going to reward myself with a holiday in Cape Town at the end of the year so it will be worth it! 

In the meantime, keep a look out for more blogs and as promised, that short story will be posted on here by the end of the week! 

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday lovelies xx

Recent misfortunes

What do you call a girl who's laptop has broken and didn't back up her documents onto an external hard drive? 

Yes, that's right - me! 

Seriously, I can't believe I've done it. My recent mishap also means that I have had to delay getting my next short story out to you because like everything else, it's saved onto my laptop! Don't worry, I'm going to get it fixed asap, but am moving house this weekend so have had to put everything on hold recently. I will get it fixed though, and as soon as I have I will be back on here to share it with you all. I promise!

In the meantime, if you know how to fix a laptop, please let me know....

Chin Chin!

Today is #NationalDrinkWineDay so it seems only fitting that 1) I write a blog for you all and 2) I drink a large glass of Rose at the same time!

Can you believe it, someone has actually come up with a day dedicated to drinking wine? I've always been of the opinion that any day should be wine day, or in my case, Vodka, but who am I to be fussy? It's Thursday night, which means it's almost Friday, which in turn means it's practically the weekend! Its 8.39pm, PJ's are on and I am on the verge of curling up on the sofa; therefore it's only only fitting that I open a bottle of wine and honour such a day as this!

So here I am enjoying a (very) large glass of Zinfandel, watching re-runs of The Big Bang Theory whilst I wait for The Wedding Planner to start on 5Star....a channel I didn't even know I had! What I do know, however, is 5Star were actually a brother/sister band out in the 80's who had hits such as Rain or Shine and Silk and Steel (Que song lyrics now running around in my head!) I even remember the dance moves...but I'll save that for when I'm on my second glass and nobody is around! And they say wine makes you forget things! 

I couldn't be anymore in my element right now; it's like this day was made for me, and I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking this. So to everyone out there tonight who, like me, are enjoying a glass of their favourite vino, or those who may be wining a dining in a nice restaurant, or maybe sharing a bottle in their local pub, I and raising my glass to you all and have only one thing to say....Cheers!

All I want....

I've been feeling a mixed bag of emotions today; not sure whether it's because I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself given it's another single Valentine's Day for me, or whether it's just because I'm still over tired from the ridiculous amount of sleep I didn't get last week. 

Either way, I've spent the last hour or so chilling out listening to some music (choices of which are probably contributing to how I am feeling) and thought I'd share some of them with you. 

Enjoy!

Kodaline "All I want"

Shed Seven "High Hopes"

Christina Perry "A Thousand Years"

Pete Murray "King Tide"

Don't worry, I'll be back to my usual chirpy self next time - am off to watch the BAFTA's now and salivate over some good looking men!

Enjoy the rest of your evening lovelies and Happy Valentines Day! <3

Mind Tricks

My head is fuzzy. It's the kind of fuzzy you get when you're coming down with a cold and your body is too weak to respond to anything. It doesn't help that I actually am coming down with a cold and dosed up on decongestant tablets (which probably does explain why my head is fuzzy) but on Wednesday night I was lying in bed and all I could hear is that noise the TV makes when you're trying to tune in the channels and all you can see on the screen is snow.

I know something's not right, but can I think of what's bothering me? Of course I can't....probably because my head's too fuzzy. How ironic! I don't have anything of major significance to be worried about at the moment, in fact, I don't have anything to be worried about, but I my head feels busy, and it's exhausting. 

I'm not sleeping properly either. Last night, for example, I went to bed at 10pm; a decent time for me but I had such a disturbed nights sleep. I woke up so many times I lost count and I was dehydrated beyond belief that I went through nearly a litre of water, strangely enough, I don't even remember drinking it. The only way I know is because of the full bottle I took to bed with me and the almost empty bottle that was on my bedside table when I woke up. 

Even now as I type this my head feels busy. I have my TV off and my mobile phone on silent so nothing can disturb me, yet all I can hear is my fuzzy head. It's exhausting. I feel like I need a switch to turn it off. If only. 

I've considered a mind detox. Is there even such a thing? I bet if I Googled it I'd find loads about how I can do it. Maybe writing about it on here will help. Who knows? I need to try something though because I don't like this feeling. It's putting me on edge. Maybe some yoga or deep breathing exercises will help.

If anyone has any tips let me know. In the meantime, I think I need to take my own advice and get onto a search engine and see what I can find to help me out of this!

A madam of a month

January, you have been a tough one. I don't ever recall feeling like this during previous January's but for some reason I have felt the strain and emotion of post Christmas blues. (Sorry, that will be the last time I mention that C word for 11 months!) 

Perhaps being in my mid thirties gives me permission to turn into a grumpy old woman. I hope not! Then again, when you're battling against whatever storm the met office have named, trying to get your head around a new diet plan when you're already so in-tune with the old way, paying out for dodgy oil leaks (my car, not me) and unnecessarily panicking over direct debits that have already come out, it makes for a stressful few weeks. 

Good job I opted out of Dry January! Not that I don't think it's a good idea, mind you, but when January is depressing enough on its own, not having a vodka or two does make it even more dull! Saying that, the hangover I suffered today after the bottle I unexpectedly went through last night with my sister has made me question whether I should have committed to it this year. Nah, who am I kidding, everyone knows I love Vodka too much and I have to admit, it was a great night. We only went to meet our brother and his family at the pub for a couple of drinks; a standard Saturday for us, but after he invited us back to their house for a few more drinks, quickly followed by a dinner, it would have been rude to say no! Nine hours later, I staggered into a taxi and welcomed with one mother of a hangover today. Suffice to say, I dragged my sorry self out of bed at 5pm this afternoon and haven't done much else since. Let's just hope I don't get hit with boozy blues now!

Despite the struggle of January, I feel like I'm leaving it on a high and entering February on a positive note. Payday has arrived, the diet is back on track and Valentines Day is on the horizon so who knows, maybe the prospect of a new love interest is heading my way. I hope so. Being single sucks....but that's a whole other blog for you to look forward to!

Time to head to bed now. Sweet dreams lovelies! 

Happy New Year!

Welcome to the year 2016! Can you believe we are already into another new year? Seriously, where does the time go? To think, this time last year I was blogging with apprehension as I was starting the year without a job and unsure whether I would be able to pay my bills. It really was a worrying time, I have to admit.

Roll on 12 months later and I am starting this new year two months into a brand new, permanent job, that I am absolutely loving and learning so much from and despite the festivities now at an end, I don't have that same dread I felt last January, In fact, I am filled with anticipation and excitement that I am going to continue to get stuck into my new role even more and hopefully flourish with it too. It's a great feeling!

I also hope to bring new features to my blog this year and a lot more articles and short stories for you to get stuck into, so keep an eye out because I've got one or two things up my sleeve and I can't wait to share them with you!

For now, I wish you a very Happy New Year, I hope the celebrations into 2016 were as merry as mine and I look forward to chatting with you all more regularly over the next 12 months. 

Love Tanya xx