12.30am and I'm wide awake. This is a regular occurrence for me, not through choice, but more to do with everything that's swimming around in my mind so I thought I'd try the one thing that actually seems to work for me: writing.
The problem is, where do I start? There are times when I want to pour my heart out and tell you everything that's playing on my mind, but when I comes to the crunch, I just can't do it. Why? I don't know, but I'm hoping somewhere within these baffled words sense will reappear and I'll be able to make way along the clear path again.
My problem is I overthink to a point where I'm imagining things that aren't there. Big mistake, I know but how do you stop yourself? I often imagine what it would feel like standing ontop of a cliff or mountain, holding my arms out and just screaming into the distance, letting all the anxiety and all these silly niggles go. I envisage it to be quite a cathartic experience where by the end I feel renewed and ready to take on the world once more. It's a good thought; relaxing; carefree.
I guess all I need is that big bear hug and for someone to look me in the eye and reassure me that everything's going to be ok. I feel like I've been on a never ending roller coaster, only now when I think I'm about to get off, it just keeps going. I'm feeling dizzy and it's not a great feeling. I need to go back to the beach with my music and vodka. Hopefully I'm almost there but for now, a little sign would be nice!
About Me
- Tanya Shirley
- Northampton, United Kingdom
- Welcome to my Blog. I set this up after realising I spend far too much time updating my Facebook status and living in hope that one day a celeb will reply to one of my Tweets. So if you like reality TV, makeup, short story ideas, magazines, chocolate and the occasional gym class, then this is the blog for you. Now get that tea brewing, grab a couple of digestives and let yourself escape into my world...you never know, you might like it here!
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