Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

This is just a little note to say tonight has been a defining moment for me because my blog has broken the 20,000 page views barrier! I am so unbelievably happy and feel restored that my passion IS still my strength. Roll on 2015, I'm determined to make my writing even more successful. 

I would like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me to take risks with it, and to every single person who has taken the time to read, comment and share my work! 

I never imagined it would take off like this when I wrote my first piece - it was just a place to share my work - but so much good has come from what I have written and my confidence has grown tremendously. 

I am so excited to continue with my writing journey through the next year and hope you will continue to enjoy and share it.

Thank you everyone, you have made a girl very happy! xxx

Another year (almost) over

I can't believe another year is coming to a close. Where did it go? It's almost terrifying how quickly it has passed. Once again, it has had given me many highs and also many lows but I guess life wouldn't be the same if I didn't go through it like that. 

Although Christmas festivities are still going, I have spent most of today cocooned in my flat, tidying up, doing washing, and catching up on Eastenders! I am now looking forward to what 2015 is going to bring - both the known and unknown. I have a good feeling about this next year. Already lots of good things happening, including taking part in my very first half marathon!

I know, I know, you probably had to re-read that last sentence, but it's true, I have signed up to do the Milton Keynes run on March and it's only 10 weeks away so not much training time left, but still enough to do it. It is going to mean a lot of dedication which, after looking out of my window to a blanket of ice on the roads, I wasn't feeling the motivation! I'm determined to do it though so watch this space, I'll no doubt be writing more about it in the coming weeks. 

The first thing I need to do now is get a new job! My seasonal temporary job has come to an end so the world is once again my oyster. I'm determined to find something soon so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I am now off to pour myself a cheeky baileys on ice and enjoy another slice of my home made Christmas cake. Whatever your plans are for New Years Eve, I hope you have a great time and wish you a fantastic 2015. Keep in touch because I have lots of things to share but for now, I'll leave you with anticipation!

Happy New Year!

Tanya xx

Christmas is coming....

Excitement has prevailed after a visit to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park last weekend followed by the official Christmas Tree decoration in my flat - my first ever tree in my own place. There's something quite special about that!

Since then, I have been relishing in the Christmas cheer enjoying some mulled cider, watching those old, cheesy, but heartwarming movies on TV and making sure I keep feeding my Christmas cake with Brandy.

Today I am looking forward to meeting up with my family for some festive drinks and nibbles at Corkers - a champagne cocktail bar in town. In preparation, I am currently sitting in my favorite hair salon, Octopus Hair, with foils in looking more like something out of a horror movie! It's ok though, Michael Bublè is on in the background and I have a lovely fresh cup of coffee, mince pie and shot glass of minstrels to enjoy while the transformation takes place! 

What a life!

It really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas now. All we need is for Mr Jack Frost to move on and make room for Mr Snowman to add the finishing touches...then it really will be magical!

I'm wide awake

12.30am and I'm wide awake. This is a regular occurrence for me, not through choice, but more to do with everything that's swimming around in my mind so I thought I'd try the one thing that actually seems to work for me: writing.

The problem is, where do I start? There are times when I want to pour my heart out and tell you everything that's playing on my mind, but when I comes to the crunch, I just can't do it. Why? I don't know, but I'm hoping somewhere within these baffled words sense will reappear and I'll be able to make way along the clear path again.

My problem is I overthink to a point where I'm imagining things that aren't there. Big mistake, I know but how do you stop yourself? I often imagine what it would feel like standing ontop of a cliff or mountain, holding my arms out and just screaming into the distance, letting all the anxiety and all these silly niggles go. I envisage it to be quite a cathartic experience where by the end I feel renewed and ready to take on the world once more. It's a good thought; relaxing; carefree. 

I guess all I need is that big bear hug and for someone to look me in the eye and reassure me that everything's going to be ok. I feel like I've been on a never ending roller coaster, only now when I think I'm about to get off,  it just keeps going. I'm feeling dizzy and it's not a great feeling. I need to go back to the beach with my music and vodka. Hopefully I'm almost there but for now, a little sign would be nice! 

"The cold never bothered me anyway"

I finally got round to watching Frozen this evening and I have to admit, I absolutely loved it! I totally get what all the hype is about. Yet again, Disney have put together another lovely story. I have to admit, I already knew the words to most of the songs, after all you can't escape it, and it was so sweet to see how the story fits in around the lyrics.

I'll be honest, I was tinged with a little envy at how gorgeous Elsa's blue dress is and how amazing her hair looks when Anna get's to the Ice Castle! I know, I know, it's an animation but still, even at the age of 34, a part of me would still love to be a princess and Disney always do an amazing job at portraying them so well. Why do they always do that?

I think it's safe to say I'll be singing Let It Go for the rest of the week, if not year so if you're in the vicinity and you see a random woman walking around dressed as a Princess (yes, I'm off to the fancy dress shop first thing tomorrow!) singing to her hearts content, feel free to laugh a little bit, but also you know it's only going to make you want to do the same!

Roll on the snow, so I can build myself my very own Olaf, then I really will be in my element! 

"Show me how big your brave is"

It's amazing how one line in a song can have such an impact on you: "Show me how big your brave is". 

After listening to this tonight, I feel compelled to share this video with you. I know it's been around for a while, but I absolutely love it. It's so uplifting and reminds me that whatever happens in life, go out there and be brave! I've added the lyrics underneath the video too.




"Brave" by Sara Bareilles

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I got a little lost

Where have I been, you might be thinking. Well let me tell you, I am starting to wonder the same thing. Everyone keeps asking me where my blog posts are; when the next short story will be published and most importantly, why I haven't been posting on here.

It seems I have been a little lost of late, neglecting my pride and joy that is my blog and it makes me sad to come on here today and see how long it has been since I posted.

The last 48 hours have been tough for me - I lost my job - again! The second in five months and it's been tough trying to get my head around feeling like I have failed. I'm not a pessimistic person so I know I will see the positive in this but it's still raw. It hurts.

It seems that focusing so hard on doing my best over the last 5 months has made me neglect my comfort - this blog - and all it's done is put me back to square 1 - jobless!

I'm not going to drone on about it though. No. Infact, what I'm going to do is pour myself a large vodka and diet coke and get planning my next move. I have missed it here. I've missed my lovely followers, the lovely comments and the support that has kept me focused to carry on with this blog.

I'm back everyone so be prepared for some great new writing from me - you never know, you might even be a little surprised!