Holdiays are coming

Despite working for an international courier company for the last 7 years, I can honestly say I don’t think I have ever got so excited about seeing a lorry before as I did this evening when our town had a visit from the most famous of them all – the Coca Cola Christmas Truck!

Yes, that’s right; the holiday’s officially came to Northampton today and parked up in Abington Street, parading itself to the locals, getting us all into the spirit of Christmas. I have to admit, it was a bit of a novelty to see the big red lorry with it’s bright lights whilst getting crushed by the mass of excited people around me. It was also tinged with a little disappointment though as they weren’t playing the “Holiday’s are coming” song, instead we were engulfed Mariah Carey. Still, I can’t complain because I ended up singing along anyway!

Although I didn’t bother to get my freebie mini can of coke because of the long queue (yes, really), and also because I knew a had a 2 litre bottle of it in the fridge at home, I did find myself thinking about everything the giant truck stands for and couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic. For me, as much as Christmas is about decorating trees, writing cards and buying presents, it’s also about spending time with friends and family.

Now I am back home and curled up on my sofa typing this, I am enjoying the luxury of my own cold glass of diet coke mixed with a rather large dash of vodka, thinking of my own friends and family. Right now, my Dad is on a flight from Cape Town to Heathrow and my friend Becky is flying in from Hong Kong, both due to arrive in the morning. My mum is spending some quality time at home with her twin, my sister is busy baking Christmas goodies, and my brother and his fiancé are most probably being entertained by my very excited 2 year old nephew! Knowing that we will all be together this Christmas means so much to me and I absolutely cannot wait until we can start the festive celebrations together!

Who would have thought I could get all of this from one lorry…I dread to think what might happen when I drive into work in the morning!

"Christmas for Two"

There’s no doubt about it, the one thing that really pulls at my heart strings is when people unite together for a good cause. As we move closer towards Christmas, the spirit of the season is becoming more apparent as panic shopping sets in with too much over spending and indulging in copious amounts of food and drink. On the flip side however, we are never far from helping someone in need and one way of doing that is through music.

Last week I was introduced to local singer/songwriter, Jamie Benkert on Twitter after he tweeted about a charity single he has put together. The Olly Murs look-a-like (oh, yes!) has collaborated with Harley-Joe Arnold to produce a song called Christmas For Two where every penny raised is going towards the Disney and Paddington Children’s wards at Northampton General Hospital.

With a little help from some friends and local drama class, The Alley Cats, Christmas jumpers were on mass as filming took place at both Northampton School for Girls and Beckworth Emporium.

On my first listen I was immediately taken by the catchy melody and of course, great lyrics. Teamed up with a great voice and those classic Christmas bells, I think it’s safe to say I have a new favourite song of the season!

You can download the track from iTunes, Amazon and Google Play with prices starting at just 79p and the single is also available to buy on CD for £2.

To find out more about Jamie, check him out on Twitter and Facebook, but in the meantime, have a listen to the song here and let’s all show our support and download a copy for ourselves!

A local affair

Community spirit was out in force last night when fans of the popular #Northantshour group on Twitter got together at the Black Bottom Club in town to help raise money for local charity, Niamh’s Next Step, fundraising for awareness to help fight childhood cancer, Neuroblastoma.

The idea of arranging the event was tweeted during one of the weekly get-togethers that take place every Thursday between 8pm – 9pm and the response was so positive that organiser Emily took it on board and with the help of local businesses created an opportunity for us to meet in person and raise some money for a good cause.

The evening opened with a welcome from Emily followed by a thank you from Chris Curry, the father of Niamh, who sadly lost her battle with this cancer on 20^th May 2012. He set up the charity in her memory alongside his wife, Sam and it is now fully registered with The Charities Commission.  

We then saw entertainment from singer Will Rogers, who did an acoustic set, described by some as sounding like a mix between Ed Sheeran and Ben Howard and apparently looked a little like Peter Crouch! He was later followed by very talented five piece band, Full Time Rookies, from Manor School in Raunds...a new, edgier (and more talented) One Direction on our hands, I think! Both kept everyone entertained with cover songs and original tracks. 

Whilst we munched our way through the buffet, scoffed down delicious cupcakes and posed like models at the photo booth, we were spoilt for choice with an extensive array of raffle prizes all of which were kindly donated by local and independent businesses, authors and poets. I even bagged myself a prize too! It definitely made for interesting viewing as each winner got to choose what they wanted so there was lots of excitement, but it’s safe to say, nobody was disappointed!  

The whole evening was washed down with a drink or two, lots of friendly chat and banter and through ticket and raffle sales a total of £890 was raised. A successful evening all round, and maybe even the first of many…

Step into Christmas

This weekend I officially declared the festive season open and paid a visit to the Frankfurt Christmas Market in Birmingham for what turned out to be a booze fuelled, food scoffing brilliant weekend! Along with my brother and his fiancé; sister and her boyfriend, we took to the City and relished in the festivities.

As soon as we left New Street station we were thrust into the masses and proceeded to walk very slowly around the market, taking in the many stalls selling a range of products from traditional handmade wooden gifts and Christmas tree decorations to the more popular choices available including jewellery and winter accessories. 

Then of course, there were the food and drink stalls. So many to choose from it was difficult to decide! Warm cider with shots of vodka or brandy washed down with a popular German sausage followed by mulled wine and Reindeer burgers (yes, really!) finished off with Baileys hot chocolate, beer and not to mention the tequila shots and tapas once we found comfort later on in our favourite spot, Las Iguana's. (I know, I know, slight detour of both venue and country, but it was all part of the plan!)

Decorated with blue and white lit Christmas trees, lots of fairy lights with an ice rink and big wheel to add to the finishing touches, the market atmosphere was thriving. Everyone was so friendly and were all there for the same reason: to have fun and enjoy themselves. It's definitely somewhere I would recommend, but if you are going, wrap up warm, wear comfortable shoes, and be prepared for the crowds!

Benefits to Social Media

I was recently asked to write a guest blog for a new follower of mine called Tim Elliot after tweeting to enquire if anyone would be interested in me writing for them. He gave me the challenge to write a piece on 5 benefits to social media and has since posted it onto his own blog.

Check it out here and let me know what you think:

TJElliot

If there is anyone else reading my blog who would like me to write for them, get in touch...I don't bite!

Tanya

It's beginning to look a lot like....

Dare I say it? I might annoy a few people if I start going on about that time of the year already, but now Halloween and Guy Fawkes are over and John Lewis have officially unveiled that 2013 advert, I think it's safe to say we are definitely heading towards CHRISTMAS!

I've refused to let myself get drawn into it so far, despite already buying my nephew two presents, but tonight as I am writing this, I have my Christmas cake baking in the oven and have found myself searching online for present ideas! My Dad is coming over from Cape Town to be with us this year too and getting a text from him this morning to say he's arriving 6 weeks today, has made me realise it really isn't that long to go so I can't help but think about it!

Despite the cold, dark nights drawing in, there is SO much to look forward to: snuggling by the fire in PJ's and slippers, winter accessories, sparkly dresses, Baileys (!), and lots and lots of parties!

Exciting times are approaching so it's time we got into the spirit of it, don't you think?

A little update...

Things have been very busy in my little world lately, so much so, I have completely neglected my writing and blog. Naughty Tanya! For any of you that may be a little concerned of my whereabouts or are having T and Biscuit withdrawal symptoms, (surely there's at least one of you…?) don’t worry, I haven't gone far, I've just been lingering around behind the scenes for a few weeks.

I will be back with more stories to tell (already started writing a few) so don’t panic. In the mean time, check out what I have been up to on Twitter and Pinterest. Currently looking at ideas to revamp my bedroom and getting back into the healthy eating and exercise routine and have been posting and tweeting so pop by and say hello, send me a tweet or pin me!

See you all again very soon.

Tan xx

 

There's no place like home

Turning on the television today you can guarantee to find something property related, whether it’s buying and selling, redecorating and improving, building or just simply looking around. It’s an endless choice that never seems to go out of fashion, and why would it? Everybody wants to create a home to show off, and these programmes offer us the opportunity to do just that. 

The problem we are often faced with however, is the huge mass market of reproduced products and items from big companies all trying to sell the same thing to us, often making us lose the identity of the home we want to create. With such a vast array of a-lot-of-the-same, it can be difficult to know where to start, especially when you have a specific idea/theme that you are striving to achieve. 

This is what happened to Northampton local, Cassie Munnelly. Working in finance as well as juggling the day-to-day lives of her own family, she struggled to create the home she sought due to the lack of products out there. Braving the competition, Cassie decided to try her hand at learning the techniques of restoring vintage pieces and it wasn’t long before friends and family took notice of what she was doing. Before she knew it she had swapped the glamour of heels and make up for trainers and leggings and a new business venture, Remara House was open to the public. 

Owned by Cassie’s husband, Dean, who deals with the finance, business and source of products, Cassie deals with the furniture pieces as well as offering a soft furnishing range, but it doesn’t stop there. They offer home consultancy visits and provide ideas for design and décor right through to supplying the painters, materials and furniture, regardless of your budget.

They understand the importance of maintaining the features of a home and will go as far as collecting old pieces from you to recreate into something new and modern without losing the significance of that item. So before you think about selling that chest of drawers handed down to you from your Granny, or pulling the fire place frame apart and sending it to the tip, it may be worth considering getting it commissioned.

 

Trading from the Lillie Vanillie Vintage Emporium in Northampton town centre, where most of their stock is sold, there is a strong focus on vintage and shabby chic, but that’s not to say it’s not suitable to everyone’s taste. There is plenty of choice for all from dressers, chairs and tables to home accessories including door stoppers, draft excluders and even kitchen accessories. 

If like me, you just need a little inspiration, their Off The Shelf collection allows you to browse products ready to buy, or you can even go one step further and take advantage of their wish list allowing you to piece together bit by bit exactly what it is you are after and let them do the rest! 

 

Although the business has only been going for a short time, the response they are getting has been surprising. Their Facebook and Twitter pages are increasing by the day and the range of photos available to browse through show off exactly what they can do. They are not short of comments from people near and far admiring their work and it seems they are taking Northampton by storm. If there’s one Cassie isn’t ready for yet, it’s hanging up her paint brushes and trainers so it’s worth checking it out and seeing just how special this little venture has become.

 

Cassie and Dean Munnelly

To find out more about Remara House, you can visit their Facebook page:

 Remara House

or follow them on Twitter:

 

@Remarahouse

I'll be your clown...

It’s funny how writing can take you from one extreme to the other. Just last week I was blogging about the historical features that have shaped my hometown, and today I am writing to tell you all about another shape that has been appearing locally in the form of a clown. Yes, you heard correctly, a clown. Over the weekend there was lots of talk of one spotted roaming the streets of Northampton and if I’m honest, I didn’t take much notice of it until Saturday night when a friend of mine filled me in and it seems now we have our own little celebrity causing quite a stir amongst the locals.  

Spotted so far only at night, the clown appears holding either balloons or flowers and there is now a race to see who will be the next to find him. Facebook and Twitter have gone clown crazy and the news has even reached not only other parts of the country, but even the world. I had someone from LA tweeting me about it last night, yes…LA and it’s even reported this evening CNN have interviewed a journalist from our local newspaper, Chronicle and Echo to find out what’s going on.  

I’ll admit it; I did initially think the whole thing was odd. After all, why would a grown man want to wander the streets dressed like this because to me it screams weird and freaky, but on reflection, I can’t help but find the whole thing incredibly amusing! We even have our very own super hero “clown catcher” now also taking to the streets to protect us from him! It’s good to hear he’s out there because knowing a creepy clown is lurking about doesn’t half put people on edge. 

There has been a lot of speculation as to who the clown really is and also whether he is a threat to us but that now appears to be just idle gossip after he braved the backlash and took to Facebook and put those rumours to bed.

“Too much hate not enough love. No, I don't have a knife on me! that’s just stupid rumors spread by stupid people. I'm also 'not' on twitter as it confuses the heck out of me. However, I might go for a jog around that pond in Abington Park later as I’m really unfit... See you around! Beep Beep!

Nice to see he’s reassuring us and also proving that even clowns understand the importance of a healthy lifestyle….a new role model on the horizon perhaps? 

There is as much love as there is hate for him, but whatever your take is on the situation, he has got us all talking. Personally I think it’s great to have a little bit of fun happening in town, just as long as it doesn’t have any negative impact. I will be keeping my eyes out for him and will keep you posted if I hear or see anything else!

Published Piece!

I had the opportunity this week to write a piece about my hometown of Northampton for @NorthantsHourUk on Twitter. It was published on their website on Thursday so thought I would share it for you all to read! Take a look at the link below...you might be surprised at what you read! ;-)

Tanya xx

http://northantshour.wordpress.com/northampton/

The Follower

Sarah didn’t feel right. She was suddenly aware of the quietness surrounding her when all she could hear was heavy breathing coming from her dry mouth. Her eyes darted around but nothing was there. Maybe it was all in her head again, she thought. But there it was: the familiar sound of footsteps coming towards her. She froze in horror because she knew that sound all too well, and the only thing she could do now was run. Again.  

Tears streamed down her cheeks and her heart raced, propelling blood around her fragile body as fear engulfed her like a burning flame on an oil slick, bellowing out a piercing scream from the bottom of her stomach deafening anything within reach. 

“Not again, please!” she begged as she ran for her life. 

It was no good though, he was right behind her. She could smell his aftershave mixed with the stale scent of cigarette smoke embedded into his unwashed denim jacket. That smell…she knew what was coming.  

Sobbing as she tried to run for her life, Sarah lost control and fell to the floor. She tried to stand up but her legs had turned into a mangled mess. 

“NO!” she screamed “GOD NO!” 

And then it happened. She felt him over her pinning her down with force as she tried desperately to push him away, kicking her legs into him.  

“NO!” she screamed again. 

“Calm down, Sarah” said a stern male voice.  

“NO!” she shouted “Get your hands off me!” 

Sarah was determined he wouldn’t hurt her again.  

Let go of me! Stop! Somebody HELP ME!” she screeched. But there was nobody.  

“Calm. Down. Sarah” he said again.  

This time she had no chance when two more men surrounded her, all three of them fighting to hold her down. 

“NO!” 

Biting the hand of one of the men, she frantically tried to save herself but she knew she had no chance. Squirming hysterically, she could hear the men talking to each other but nothing made sense. All of a sudden she felt the scratch of a needle on her arm and cold liquid enter her bloodstream.  

“What the hell are you doing to me?” She yelled 

“Sarah, stop shouting!” said one of the men.

She gasped as her battle slowly began to alleviate, taming her panic. The struggle eased and she felt heavy, like a weight falling to the bottom of the ocean. Her pupils were dilated and breathing slowed, calming her back into a controlled state. She felt beads of sweat run down her face as she lay there powerless, unable to move or make a sound. She was paralysed.  

Lying on the floor she stared nonchalantly into the distance as the three figures looked down at her before walking away, shutting the heavy door behind them. She felt cold and alone as her eye lids intermittently closed.  

The men watched her through the Perspex window of the room she was in waiting for her to pass out. Seeing her limp body relax and drift into temporary unconsciousness, they knew it was safe to go back in.  

“15.37 19^th September 2013” came from one of the trio. “The sixth fit she’s had in two days.” 

“Poor kid” said another voice as he gently put a blanket over her. “We’re going to need to reassess her medication and keep her in refinement longer than we thought.” 

“Alex the girl doesn’t stand a chance; look at the state of her. She’s never going to leave this place, we all know that.” 

Silence fell amongst the men who had been trying for so long to help her. They wanted so desperately to give her the life she deserved, but too much damage had been done. As they walked out of Sarah’s room again, the third man turned around and looked at her once more, his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach.  

Somewhere, deep within her unconsciousness Sarah heard the jingle jangle of keys locking her in and the bolt slam shut, securing the door. Calm had resurfaced but the tears still fell. Five years she had been kept hostage in here. Five years. They were never going to leave her alone. 

“Next time I’ll be ready” she thought.

The Coffin

Another 99 word snippet for you to enjoy....


The wooden box lay cold in the ground. A tall, slim lady with short blonde hair, wearing a classic black shift dress and killer heels, stood alone staring motionless below her.  The rose she was clutching complimented her full lips and nails, as the netting from her hat covered the sunglasses framing her face.  

Throwing the flower onto the coffin, she blew a kiss before walking away. Her bottom lip trembled as a sly grin unmasked the pain forged onto her face. 

Deep in the ground, locked in the coffin, was a body frantically screaming to get out. 



***update***

I've found out today (2nd August 2013) that this flash fiction story has been shortlisted online by 99fiction. I am SO happy. Go Me! :-) To sign up and check it out, click on this link:

http://99fiction.net/page/short-list

All Things Local

There’s something to be said about getting involved with local events as I discovered when I attended an “All Things Local” function at The George Row Business Club in my hometown this evening.

Situated in a Grade 2 listed building, the Northampton and County Club, originally built in 1675, became the host to a variety of businesses gathered together to promote their products including jewellery, home made cards, gifts, books, alcohol and an array of produce which we were able to sample and buy.  

Although I knew it existed, in the 33 years of living here I can honestly say I had absolutely no idea what went on behind those doors! However, on entering the building, you can feel the rustic elegance it holds. Before getting the chance to take it all in I found myself entering a small, but beautiful garden with tables and chairs positioned where people were enjoying drinks and relaxing in the afternoon sun. For a few minutes, I forgot I was actually in the middle of town because it felt like a secret hideaway that only a select few knew about. 

Walking around and looking at the stalls I sampled some home made cupcakes by The Vintage Bluebell Bakery (and bought a couple too!), fresh strawberries from Moulton Fruit and Veg Ltd, white chocolate hearts by Layla Beaumont Cakes and was even given a lovely slice of carrot cake to take home from The Bread and Butter Factory.  

In between ruining my diet with all things naughty, I learnt about flavouring food with home made spices from Bite me Spices, using the right chutneys with Unique Preserves, understanding cheeses with St Giles Cheese and then washed it all down tasting Rubis Luxury Chocolate Wine by Amps Fine Wines, sparking white by New Lodge Vinyard (who even knew Northamptonshire had a vineyard?) and Warner Edwards home produced Gin. Now, as a Vodka girl, I was a little reluctant to try the latter, but it was absolutely lovely. It didn’t have that bite that other drinks have and I actually thought this is a drink I could really enjoy, and without the need of a mixer!  

Other stalls that caught my eye were Griffs Homemade, a company that hand makes a variety of gifts including advent calendars (which proved extremely popular), cushions, tea light holders and bunting; Wise, an organisation aimed to help women over the age of 30 start their own business (I have taken note!) and met local author Ryta Lindley who has published two children’s books: The Tales of Brick Kiln and Dingle Ditch and More Tales of Brick Kiln and Dingle Ditch. I spent a considerable amount of time talking to her and she was great. So funny, lots of interesting stories and even gave me some tips on getting published too! 

What struck me the most about this event was the passion everyone had for our town. I have been known to be a little pessimistic about it in the past, but meeting the locals tonight, learning about their businesses, and seeing the focus and excitement they have to make it successful was unexpectedly awe inspiring. Everyone was so friendly, chatty and genuinely interested not just in promoting their product, but also meeting other locals. I walked away feeling a lot more passionate about the place I live in and once again, I have realised it does have a lot to offer and it’s important we remember that. There was a real sense of camaraderie and I think it’s something we must all hold onto, especially as we are seeing big developments emerging around us. We mustn't lose our local spirit and rather use it to show people that this is a good town and local businesses are an important factor in shaping the new Northampton.

Summer time, and the living is easy...

Summer is well and truly out in force this week and I chose a great time to have a few days off work to enjoy it, and even more so that I spent it by the sea in Brighton to celebrate the civil partnership of two friends, Craig and Paul.

Arriving on Thursday afternoon, we checked in at our not-so-first-class Travel Lodge before venturing down to the Pier to check out the sights. Although it was a little overcast, it didn’t stop us having fun. A ride on the merry-go-round and six jugs of Pimms later, we all indulged in some much needed traditional fish and chips which was delicious!  

Friday was the ceremony and we couldn’t have asked for a better day. The sun was shining and the crowds appeared in their masses to soak up the sun on the beach. My housemate and I booked in at a local hair salon called Antonio Delgado where we both had our hair curled and pinned up. I only planned to have it curled but wasn’t at all disappointed with what they did and the owner had us in fits of laughter the whole time we were there – definitely a place to recommend!  

 

The ceremony took place at Brighton Town Hall and I was one of fifty guests invited to be a part of it. Seeing them both so blissfully happy and how delighted their friends and family were to witness it, made it a beautiful ceremony. Photo’s followed afterwards in gorgeous grounds not far from the service and then celebrations continued into the night where we all enjoyed a delicious 3 course Italian buffet reception at Al Duomo Restaurant. I was in carb heaven!  

We then spent a very relaxing (and not so raucous) Saturday chilling on the beach and enjoying another walk along the pier, although we were lucky enough to find a small Irish pub in the morning where one of our friends even bagged us a table, so we could watch the rugby final, but that was about as much as my poor head could take. Fresh air and a massive ice cream on the beach worked wonders though! 

By Saturday night, it was safe to say, I was wrecked! Far too much alcohol, far too much food and lots of sun set me up for a quiet night back home and just when I thought wind down would begin, I was back on the vodka and enjoying a picnic in my local park with my family on Sunday to watch the tennis final. 

It was definitely a great few days though – just what I needed and the sun is still shining and looks like it’s here to stay for next weekend too…just in time for my trip to London!

Stand by your man?

There’s no doubt about it, everyone has an issue with their weight and size. Whether you think you’re fat, thin, tall, short...it’s the one thing we all have in common, yet seem to use to continue to make other people feel bad about themselves.

Recently I’ve had a few encounters where I have heard women moaning about their men and how much they weigh. Now I’m all for talking about my weight to people I’m comfortable talking to about it, but when someone is moaning at the top of their voice to a friend in public about the size of her fiancés belly, and his need to lose weight to be able to find a waistcoat big enough to fit him on their wedding day, I can’t help but feel outraged.

Of course, she was making a joke out of it, but the poor guy was standing with her at the time and the look on his face spoke volumes. Thankfully the woman’s friend had the decency to tell her to be quiet, which did do the trick (and brought a little smile to my face at the same time!)

Seriously though, if you’re marrying him then you love him regardless of what he looks like and you should be telling everyone how amazing he is, not putting him down. If his weight is an issue then talk it out between the two of you, not all and sundry!  

Come on ladies, stand by your man, don’t shoot him down!

 

A right Royal knees up!

This weekend I galloped cross country with some friends and got involved with the glitz and glamour of the oh-so Royal Ascot in Berkshire. Thousands of people flocked in their masses dressed to the nines, suited and booted, all competing to win best dress, best hat and of course, big bucks on the horses.

Spending the day there to celebrate the impending nuptials of a friend of ours, we gathered together on Saturday morning and mini bussed our way down to the race track, picnic packed and Prosecco fuelled, it was definitely going to be one to remember.

Managing to get what looked like the last spot of grass in the Silver Ring we quickly made ourselves at home, laying out food and enjoying more wine. There was so much to take in I didn’t know where to start. From the bars and music blaring out, to the never ending supply of totes and betting shops (obviously) to the big screen TV’s, royal procession and in true Great British style, lots of rain! Even the portable toilets were on the plush side. Sales of hair extensions and fake tan must have soared in preparation for this weekend, but I can’t knock anyone because it really was glamour to the max and everyone looked spiffing, darling! 

I even had a little flutter on the Gee Gee’s myself and as someone who knows absolutely nothing about horse racing, I decided to go with a few tip offs to begin with but that didn’t get me anywhere. It was only when I saw a horse with the same first name as my nephew that I decided to bet on him and he only went and won the bloody race, didn’t he old chap! Earnt me a whopping £32, I was ecstatic! The sad thing about it though was the poor horse collapsed and died of a heart attack at the finish which put a damper on things. I was genuinely gutted, but rest assured Thomas Chippendale, you made me a very happy lady!

All in all it was a great day and I definitely would like to go back and do it all again next year.

 

Me and the gang

 

Poetry in motion

I've been attempting to write some poetry lately and have even entered my first competition so thought I would share a couple with you. I hope you enjoy!

Meant to be?

They were always meant to be.

 

Teasing each other in the playground,

Holding hands when nobody was looking,

Stealing kisses behind the bike sheds. 

It was always meant to be. 

They grew up, and so did their love.

Their first time,

Their first house,

Their first child.

 

It was always meant to be. 

Standing by his grave, tears welled in her eyes.

It shouldn’t have happened.

Not now, not ever.

A romantic evening destroyed. 

Doctors tried to resuscitate him

But it was no good.

The internal bleeding was too much.

He flat lined….. 

Their love was gone.

It was no more.

 

It wasn’t meant to be.

 

******************************************************************

Love Hurts  

She sits alone with angst ridden pain.

Her face pale and strained with wonder.

“He loves me, he loves me not”.

Stomach churning knowing he is with her

The one he doesn’t love,

Or does he? 

Broken promises once again.

But she knows she will forgive him

“He love me, he loves me not”.

Her heart pains and tells another story

The one she wants to ignore,

But will she? 

Everyday the hurt get worse

But she tries hard to ignore it

“He loves me, he loves me not”.

Clinging tightly to the words he whispered

The ones that said “I love you”

But does he? 

“He loves me?” 

“He loves me not”

Stumped....

Being able to write means being able to sit down and put words to paper and create something worth reading, something funny, enjoyable, moving, something that even just one person can relate to. But what happens when you write and nothing comes out, yet there are so many things running around in your head that you are dying to express but for some reason you can’t?

 

What’s worse is that thing you know you’re good at, that your friends and family support and encourage you to keep doing in the hope that one day your dreams will be fulfilled, gets thrown back in your face by someone who doesn’t even know you?  

“You’re creativity didn’t wow us.” 

Five words…that’s all it took. Five silly little words to make my eyes sting with salt water and my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach because I know, and I know full well, those words are not true. Everything about me screams creativity. It’s what has helped me express myself, helped me to understand, to learn, and is what I know people love so much about me. It’s my passion, my strength, my heart, my soul, only now it has been tainted by something I should just forget about and move on from.  

But I can’t. It’s there embedded in me. I should do as everyone’s saying, and ignore it because what might be right for one person isn’t necessarily right for another. It’s times like this where I wish the “don’t-give-a-crap-what-people-think-Tanya” would surface, but the reality is, she doesn’t really exist. I wish I could be more carefree and not dwell so much on things. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so damn emotional and sensitive all the time.  

It’s been said though and now I have to deal with it, and the irony of all is that talking isn’t helping me, its writing. Maybe I’m not good enough, maybe this is just a dream, although something inside of me is telling me to keep fighting for that one person out there reading my words to finally see my battle to get noticed. Maybe then, I can rewrite the story again, only next time I will get my happy ending.

Pop goes my heart

There’s no denying it, I’m a pop music fan through and through. Ever since my Granny and Grandad bought me Five Star “Silk & Steel” on cassette tape in 1987, my path into cheesy music was set. It wasn’t long before I was singing into my hairbrush in front on the mirror to Kylie Minogue, Debbie Gibson, Madonna, Tiffany and The Bangles whilst lining my bedroom wall with posters of Jason Donovan and Jon Bon Jovi. Since then, I have been blessed with memories surrounding some amazingly bad, but at the same time, ridiculously happy songs that are a guilty pleasure to many: Ace of Base, Roxette, East 17, Vengaboys…even Ant and Dec! 

 

My journey through pop over the years has perhaps at times, been a little cringe worthy and embarrassing, but there’s no doubt about it, this kind of music makes me happy and when we’re plagued with such awful stories in the news every day, it’s nice to escape into my bubble of cheese and wrap myself up in my pop blanket to forget about everything else going on around me.  

 

These songs have contributed to some happy times in my life and even now I can’t help but get over excited whenever I hear 5ive, Westlife, Take That or Backstreet Boys being played. Even the more mainstream pop (and my mainstream I’m talking the kind of songs where you don’t feel compelled to close the window of your car when you’re out in public) such as Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Rihanna, Olly Murs and Michael Jackson all have pride of place in my heart. 
 

There is one band though, who without a doubt, top my own pop chart and are my ultimate favourite defying the odds with every song they have released – even the ones on their albums which perhaps not everyone knows – because each one is a guaranteed crowd pleaser and always manages to make me smile, and that is the amazing McFly. Now I know I am entering dangerous territory here because 1) they are a band and 2) not everyone labels them as pop, but to me, they are Kings of pop, but with that something extra special because not only can they write their own material, they produce it, sing it and even play their own instruments. Plus they can sing live and they are fit (especially Danny!).  

 

I was lucky enough to go and see them live on their Memory Lane tour at the 02 Academy in Birmingham on Saturday night with my sister and brother’s fiancé and it was one of the best nights out I’ve had. I love them, in fact I love everything about them! They were amazing and every song had me smiling, even the sad ones! Not only did they sound incredible, but they looked so hot! I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again now, there’s nothing better than seeing a fit man in a good suit, and when that man can sing and play the guitar whilst in that suit, you have a crazed out 32 year old swooning like a little girl all over again, especially when it comes to Danny Jones. I could listen to him sing all day and I just fall in love with him more and more every time I hear his voice! (Did I mention I think he’s fit?)  
 

It’s not just the songs that I love, but the memories I have from listening to their music. Driving around Cape Town with my sister in our blue Corsa singing at the top of our lungs to Memory Lane, I’ll be OK and Five Colours In Her Hair or getting ready for a night out and listening to It’s All About You, Star Girl and Obviously made Saturday even better because they were singing all of these classics. (The two-for-one cocktails consumed at Las Iguana’s before hand probably contributed also!)
 

The best thing about McFly day was the majority of the audience were the same age as me, making it fully acceptable to be acting like a crazy teenager. We even witnessed a guy propose to his girlfriend on stage which was so romantic, although he may have his work cut out when it comes to considering his wedding speech now!  
 

You have to admit, pop music is fun. Ok, so the lyrics may not be life changing, and may not top the most influential music of all time, but you have to applaud those who create it. They know their audience, they understand what pop is about and I have no doubt it will be around forever!

Now is a good time

I saw the new Magners Cider advert for the first time today and really liked the poem so thought I would share it on here....

Now is a good time

When yesterday’s gone and tomorrow is near
Why look for a thing when it’s already here?
And tell me you never once asked yourself how
Some people end up in the middle of the now.

Now is the beat of the feet on the floor
Now is the then we were all waiting for
It’s the strike of the luck
It’s the go with the flow
It’s the sharing the love with the people we know.

See a wise fool once said kind of out of the blue
That life is a dream that’s already come true.
It’s the less of the what, of the where and the how
It’s more of the you, of the me and the now.

A dedication to my friends and family...

There are times in my life where I wish I could make everything better for the people I care about. I know that’s impossible but sometimes I just wish I had a magic wand to put things right. Making decisions and changes can be tough, and seeing people I care about so much go through the trauma and anxiety surrounding them is at times, heart breaking.

I am fortunate enough to have a lot of happiness in my own life at present, but there is a lot sadness, upset and change going on for my close friends and family, making me realise that life is an unpredictable abundance of emotion. That’s not to say we shouldn’t treasure it though. In fact even in the darkest of times, life has an incredible way of shining through to help us deal with these feelings so that when we can see clearly, our journey can continue with focus and positivity.

What I’m really trying to say here is to those I know and love who are in that place now, remember this: my arms are always free for cuddles, my phone is always on, my door is always open and my fridge is always full of wine!

 

I love you all xxx

Eggcellent Easter!

So Easter has been and gone and if you have managed to maintain a healthy weekend I salute you. If however, you are like me and have over indulged in chocolate and hot cross buns, drank your way through an immense amount of Vodka, Jagermeister and Tequila, fought your way through a hangover and survived on very little sleep, I have ultimate respect! But that’s what bank holiday’s are for aren’t they? Or am I just making excuses again? Either way, it’s been a great weekend. Lots of time spent with my family, chilling out, live music, dancing, posing for photos (oh come on, we all do it!) and watching lots of rubbish TV.  

I would however, go as far as asking myself whether Easter actually happened because it went that quickly, only the evidence concludes it did given the empty egg boxes and chocolate wrappers bulging out of my rubbish bin this morning! The depressing thing is I’ve been on Easter countdown for weeks now purely for the mini break that comes with it, but ending up at work on Good Friday to clear the backlog (and before you ask, I volunteered) did throw me a little. That’s not to say I didn’t have a good time though, I just wish I could rewind and enjoy it all little bit more. Oh well, there’s plenty more weekends like that in store and between you and me, I can’t wait!

Risky business...

I’ve never been much of a risk taker, in fact I much prefer to play it safe than to live dangerously, but recently something in the back of my mind has been telling me I need to let go and do something crazy. I’m not really sure what that something is, but there’s a feeling in the bottom of my stomach telling to live a little bit more.

I’m not saying I have a sudden urge to jump out of an aeroplane or bungee off a cliff, but I do feel like I am ready for a new challenge, the only problem is I’m just not sure what it is. Part of me wants to pack my bags and go exploring, but I wouldn’t have a clue where to start. Besides the thought of imitating Mr Stevens driving around the country in my clapped out old KA doesn’t quite have the appeal that Ishiguro wrote about.

I always admire people who do have the guts to act on their feelings though because it shows strength and determination, something I feel I may be lacking. Take my friend, Becky, for example. A week ago she told me she was moving to Hong Kong with her boyfriend after he was offered a promotion at work. Now if that isn’t amazing, I don’t know what is! I know I’m going to miss her loads, but there’s nothing to stop me from getting on a plane and going to visit her.

Maybe that’s why I’m feeling the way I do now, because I’m lacking some excitement in my life. Perhaps the long, cold winter we have had has reduced me to a serious case of cabin fever and steered me away from my happy place!

The time has come though; a change will be good…providing of course I make the right one, but I guess only time will tell if I do.

Watch this space….

Flash Fiction: The Cell

Another 99 word Flash Fiction story I have written....

******

Lying on the iron bed his head pounded and his face black and blue. His stomach churned as bile invaded the back of his throat like poison. The room smelt damp and all he had for company was rotten mould seeping through the walls. His knuckles were bloody and scratched from where he tried to defend himself…the first of many, he thought.

It shouldn’t have been him, but they did it this time. Framed by his own family all because of a stupid bet that went wrong.

Day 1 was done, only another 9 years, 364 days to go….

Where has the time gone?

Logging into my blog this evening, I couldn’t believe it when I saw the last time I wrote something for you all was over a month ago. I am in absolute shock that I have managed to neglect my passion for so long. What has happened to me? Where have I been? The answer to these simple questions is this, I really don’t know and to be honest, it’s a little bit scary when I think about it.

On reflection, however, work has been extremely busy; I have been focusing on my new diet and spending some quality time with my family so perhaps it isn’t as scary as I first thought. The only downside, however, is I have stupidly missed out on opportunities to share it all with you. Don’t panic though; I have lots to write about so stay tuned because I’m back….with a vengeance!

Constant Craving

There’s nothing worse when you’re on a healthy eating plan than having to battle a craving. That awful voice in your head telling you that you want, no need, that massive bar of chocolate (and the one next to it) really isn’t what you should be dealing with. What makes it even harder is fighting that craving whilst you happen to be going through the wrong time of the month. (Sorry boys!) Not only do you have to battle with that little devil who’s trying to persuade you to cave in, but you also have to deal with PMT, which let’s face it, only goes away with your favourite treat anyway!

For two weeks now I have been on possibly the strictest diet I have ever tried. No alcohol, caffeine, sugar, processed food, cow’s milk…you name it, I’m not allowed it. I’m basically surviving on a diet of rabbit food and chicken! It doesn’t help then, for the last 48 hours all I’ve wanted to do is get to a shop and stuff my face with Diary Milk! I haven’t though, but it has been tough. Perhaps because the plan is only for 6 weeks there’s a part of me that wants to stick to a diet for a change, or maybe it’s because once I get to week three it stipulates I will be allowed a little indulgence. Right now something tells me it’s the latter!

Whatever the reason though, it’s doing something because I’ve never been known to have such willpower. I’ve taken myself by surprise, so maybe I am actually defying the odds and proving you can beat a craving after all. This could be a breakthrough for me, but I guess only time will tell!

Blue Sunday

There’s no doubt about it, Sunday night blues are the worst feeling in the world, especially the kind that creep up when you least expect it. You know straight away when it’s here because your stomach ties itself into knots and that sudden wave of nausea hits you and no matter how much you try and shake it off, it lingers there for the rest of the day ruining every last hour of your weekend.

I have that feeling today and what’s worse is I can’t even enjoy a nice cup of tea and biscuit to comfort myself because I have signed up to a six week diet with my gym and am currently undergoing an extremely strict two week detox to kick start it. Having said that the peppermint green tea I had earlier was surprisingly nice and did distract my thoughts for about half an hour but just as I was settling down to watch Dancing on Ice, low and behold, that big battle axe was back again ripping out my insides and making me feel like I could be sick at any minute.

The annoying thing is I don’t even have a reason to feel like this. Ok, so work is busy and stressful but there’s nothing I can do about that except deal with it. I’m not unhappy with my life, I have great friends and an amazing family so I should really just get over myself and stop moping about, but sometimes trying to get out of feeling this way is easier said than done.

I literally have spent all afternoon and evening feeling crappy and now I resent myself for it because I should be relishing in the weekend and enjoying myself, but all that is left for me to do now is get into bed, watch a bit of TV and hope I’m in a better mood tomorrow!